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'But if you starts him as anythin' but Friendless we don't see your freckled face 'round here no more. "By this time a bunch has gathered 'n' soon there's a swell argument on. One guy'll say it's Friendless 'n' another 'll say it ain't. Finally somebody says to send fur Duckfoot Johnson, who swiped Friendless fur two years. They send for him.
He must be in quite a wad on this bum hoss of his'n. "'Who's Elsy? says Harms. "I tells him, 'n' he laughs. "'Is that what you call him? he says. 'What's bitin' you ain't Friendless goin' to win a nice purse for him? "About ten o'clock that night Alcyfras goes out one gate 'n' Friendless comes in another. I keeps the foot stained good, 'n' shuts the stall door whenever Duckfoot shows up.
"The mawnin' of the race, I'm givin' the bird's bad leg a steamin', when a black swipe named Duckfoot Johnson tells me I'm wanted on the phone over to the secretary's office, 'n' I gets Duckfoot to go on steamin' the leg while I'm gone. "It's a feed man on the phone, wantin' to know when he gets sixteen bucks I owe him.
"'Boss, says Duckfoot, 'some folks 'low dis hoss am Frien'less, but hit ain'. Ef hits Frien'less, an' yo' puts yo' han' hyar on his belly dey is a rough-feelin' scab. Dis hoss am puffeckly smo-o then he stops 'n' begins to get ashy 'round the mouth. "'Well? says the colonel. 'What's the matter? "'Lawd Gawd, boss!
I takes it off 'n' feel where small blisters has begun to raise under the hair a little more 'n' it 'ud been clear to the bone. I cusses Duckfoot good, 'n' rubs vaseline into the leg." I interrupted Blister long enough to inquire: "Don't they blister horses sometimes to cure them of lameness?" "Sure," he replied. "But a hoss don't work none fur quite a spell afterwards.
"'Just like mother used to make, I says out loud, 'n' follows down a dark hall to the poolroom. "I watches the New Awlins entries chalked up 'n' I sees a hoss called Tea Kettle in the third race. Now this Tea Kettle ain't a bad pup. He's owned by a couple of wise Ikes who never let him win till the odds are right. Eddie Murphy has this hoss 'n' Duckfoot Johnson's swipin' him.
But these gentlemen and myself, having the welfare of the American thoroughbred at heart, would be glad to learn by what method he was so greatly improved. "I don't know why I ever does it, but it comes to me how Duckfoot leaves the towel on the bird's leg, 'n' I don't stop to think. "'I blistered him, I says. "'You what? says the colonel.
"'When? says the colonel. 'When did you see him? "''Bout a month ago, says Duckfoot. "'Did you recognize him? says the colonel. "'Yes, sah, says Duckfoot, 'I done recnomize him thoully fum his haid to his tail, but I ain' never seed him befo'. "'Recnomize him again, the colonel tells him.
"'I talks to his swipe not very long ago, I says, ''n' he tells me he's good. "The ole nigger looks at me hard. "'Whar does you hol' dis convahsation at? he says. "'Sheepshead, I says. "'Does you reccomember de name ob de swipe? says the ole nigger. "'Sure! I says, 'I've knowed him all my life! His name is Duckfoot Johnson. "'Yes, suh! he says. 'Yes, suh an' what mought yo' name be?
"When Duckfoot comes he busts through the crowd like he's the paddock judge. "'Lemme look at dis hoss, he says. "Everybody draws back 'n' Duckfoot looks the hoss over 'n' then runs his hand under his barrel close to the front legs. "'No, sah, dis ain' Frien'less, he says.
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