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Updated: June 11, 2025
'Because, says I, 'th' people out there is f'r holdin' th' Ph'lippeens, says I. 'What th' divvle ar-re th' Ph'lippeens? says he. 'Is it a festival, says he, 'or a dhrink? he says. 'Faith, 'tis small wondher ye don't know, says I, 'f'r 'tis mesilf was weak on it a year ago, I says. 'Th' Ph'lippeens is an issue, says I, 'an' islands, says I, 'an' a public nuisance, I says.
Thinks I, ''Tis a shame f'r to lave this savage man in possession iv this fine abode, an' him not able f'r to vote an' without a frind on th' polis foorce. So says I: 'Snakes, I says, 'get along, says I. 'I want ye'er house, an' ye best move out west iv th' thracks, an' dig a hole f'r ye'ersilf, I says. 'Divvle th' fut I will step out iv this house, says Snakes.
"To till the truth an' shame the divvle, colonel, the poor ould crayture, whose complaint we couldn't underconstumble at all at all, sure, was sufferin' from a fit of apoplexy a thing aisy enough to recognise by any docther of experience, though, faith, it moight have been Grake to us!"
"An' th' higher up a man regards his wurruk, th' less it amounts to. We cud manage to scrape along without electhrical injineers but we'd have a divvle iv a time without scavengers. Ye look down on th' fellow that dhrives th' dump cart, but if it wasn't f'r him ye'd niver be able to pursoo ye'er honorable mechanical profissyon iv pushin' th' barrow.
"Good-by yersilf," hanging up the receiver. "And the divvle fly away wid ye," grumbled O'Hagan. As he turned away from the instrument Maitland managed to produce a sound, something between a moan and a strangled cough. The old man whirled on his heel. "Pwhat's thot?" The next instant he was bending over Maitland, peering into the face drawn and disfigured by the gag. "The saints presarve us!
Divvle a bit iv a cabinet I'd have, but I'd surround mesilf with th' best thrained flattherers that cud be hired f'r love or money, an' no wan wud tell me th' truth, an' I'd live an' die happy. I'd show these modhern kings how a king ought to behave.
"Faith," exclaimed this gentleman, after a moment's scrutiny, a broad grin lighting up his face and his eyes twinkling with a comical expression that would alone have made me recognise him, had I not heard his delightful, to me at any rate, Irish brogue, "ye're ayther Dick Haldane or the divvle!" stretching out both hands to grasp mine.
Even had the Colonel needed any keeping up to the mark, the office would have been cheerfully undertaken by O'Flynn or by Potts, for whom interest in the gustatory aspect of the occasion was wholly undimmed by the threatened absence of Mac and the "little divvle." "There'll be the more for us," said Potts enthusiastically. O'Flynn's argument seemed to halt upon a reservation.
Th' authors has become convinced that Adam an' Eve must be carrid through th' whole play, so they have considerably lessened th' time between th' creation an' th' flood an' have made Adam an English nobleman with a shady past an' th' Divvle a Fr-rinch count in love with Eve. They're rescued be Noah, th' faithful boatman who has a comic naygur son."
Th' Chinese won't buy shoes fr'm us an' ar-re chasin' th' missionaries out iv their cozy villas an' not even givin' thim a chance to carry away their piannies or their silverware. There's th' divvle to pay all along th' levee fr'm Manchurya to Madagascar, accordin' to Hogan. I begin to feel onaisy. Th' first thing we know all th' other subjick races will be up.
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