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Updated: June 24, 2025
"Don't be rude, Campbell, de-ah," said McTurk, "or you'll catch it again!" "You are devils, you know," said Campbell. "What? for a little bullyin' same as you've been givin' Clewer! How long have you been jestin' with him?" said Stalky. "All this term?" "We didn't always knock him about, though!"
And when I told funny stories about the Italians and the Hebrews of my tenement-neighbourhood, it broke into silvery laughter, and cried: "Oh, de-ah me! How que-ah!" Little had I dreamed, when I left that picture in the morning, what a miracle was to be wrought upon it. I knew, of course, what was the matter with me; the symptoms were unmistakable.
You lika hea'? Magistrate say: 'We', I vay tire'. But lika hea' you talk better I lika go slip, my de-ah sir! Dissa mek highrob vay plou', an' he begin lika dis: "'One day shaw horse-carry-chair trivvle 'long load. Shaw feet stick out vay nice feet; mus' be lich man. So fonnow him. He hev big backage go' an' sivver, but eve'y tem go subbah mus' oleways shet hisse'f on top dissa backage.
We', one tem was merchan', nem Jan Han Sun, getta lich in Kan Suh; say hisse'f: 'I getta lich; now mus' go home Tsan Ran Foo, shee my de-ah fadder-mudder-in-'aw an' my de-ah wife. So med determine to go home nex' day. "Kan Suh to Tsan Ran Foo about dousands miles distant, and dissa parts China no lailload, no canal. So dissa trivveler declude to ride in horse-carry-chair."
'Most scare' to def! Nen I shin down loof run 'way." Fuey draws a long breath, and smiles at me his calm, celestial smile. "We', Chan Tow finis' his sto'y. Magistrate was ole tem smoke big clou's smoke, an' mek loom look lika was on fire. Mek oneddy wek up an' open daw. When Chan Tow finis', magistrate say: 'My de-ah brudder de highrob, yo' sto'y vay intinesse, vay intinesse!
To see the details of them analysed in learned, scientific fashion, explained with great mouthfuls of words which one had to look up in the dictionary that was surely a new discovery in the book-world! "Conspicuous leisure!" "Vicarious consumption of goods!" "Oh, de-ah me, how que-ah!" exclaimed Sylvia. And what a flood of anecdotes it let loose!
"Aw then, my de-ah fellah, you mustn't chawff me any mo-ah, you know. Dawg don't eat dawg, you know ah, hay, Lorton!" And he chuckled considerably at his feeble wit. Poor Horner! What is my guilt that makes me so with thee? Have I not languished prostrate at thy feet? Have I not lived whole days upon thy sight?
But you mus' kip vay quier, my de-ah sir; as quier as can be! My son is dreffel differcut man. His profussion was highrob. He getta home minnernight; an' you doan' kip quier, I fred he to strike you! But magistrate say: 'I too tire' to getta scare'. You nedda me stay wif you. "So oneddy giva him to eat, an' show him to go slip unner tabuh in katchen.
Nen say, vay loud: "De-ah wife, letta me in! I am yo' de-ah husban' come home." So bye-bye was daw open, an' his wife come say: "O my de-ah husban'! so denight to shee you!" Nen ole dark. "'Nen I go roun' back his house. Getta long bamboo po', an' putta dissa po' up 'gainst house to shin up dissa loof. Nen cut with knife a litty roun' ho' frough loof, an' look down into dissa house.
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