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Updated: May 18, 2025
You and I ought to be under the State, sir, if you'll excuse me." "Nothing to excuse," I said. "I've always been a Socialist of a sort in theory. Let's go and have a look at him. How is he? Deflated?" "Just about quarter full. That last oil glaze of yours holds the gas something beautiful. He's not lost a cubic metre a week."... Cothope returned to Socialism as we went toward the sheds.
The question was whether I should be taken to the house her step-mother occupied at Bedley Corner, the Carnaby dower house, or down to Carnaby's place at Easting. Beatrice had no doubt in the matter, for she meant to nurse me. Carnaby didn't seem to want that to happen. "She WOULD have it wasn't half so far," said Cothope. "She faced us out....
I went along the lane towards Woking, the lane down which we had walked five months ago in the wind and rain. I mooned for a time in our former footsteps, then swore and turned back across the fields, and then conceived a distaste for Cothope and went Downward. At last I found myself looking down on the huge abandoned masses of the Crest Hill house. That gave my mind a twist into a new channel.
I had a queer fancy, too, I remember, that if I could get into the air it would advertise my return to Beatrice. "We'll fill her," I said concisely. "It's all ready," said Cothope, and added as an afterthought, "unless they cut off the gas."... I worked and interested myself with Cothope all the morning and for a time forgot my other troubles.
Then a kind of black disc appeared in the middle of the world and rushed out to the edge of things and blotted them out. I don't remember falling down. I fainted from excitement, disgust at my injury and loss of blood, and lay there until Cothope found me.
"Those last days.... It hasn't seemed to matter really. I was a little surprised." She looked at me quietly. "Cothope knew," she said. "By instinct. I could feel it." "I suppose," I began, "once, this would have mattered immensely. Now " "Nothing matters," she said, completing me. "I felt I had to tell you. I wanted you to understand why I didn't marry you with both hands.
The shame of that cowardice spurred me none the less because it was probably altogether my own secret. I felt that Cothope at any rate might suspect. Well, he shouldn't suspect again. It is curious that I remember that shame and self accusation and its consequences far more distinctly than I recall the weeks of vacillation before I soared.
But the thought of Beatrice flooded me slowly and steadily. It became an unintelligent sick longing to see her. I felt that I could not wait for the filling of Lord Roberts B, that I must hunt her up and see her soon. I got everything forward and lunched with Cothope, and then with the feeblest excuses left him in order to prowl down through the woods towards Bedley Corner.
Cothope was running down the hill to me. ... But from that day I went into training, and I kept myself in training for many months. I had delayed my experiments for very nearly six weeks on various excuses because of my dread of this first flight, because of the slackness of body and spirit that had come to me with the business life.
We brought up gas from Cheaping and electricity from Woking, which place I found also afforded a friendly workshop for larger operations than I could manage. I had the luck also to find a man who seemed my heaven-sent second-in-command Cothope his name was. He was a self-educated-man; he had formerly been a sapper and he was one of the best and handiest working engineers alive.
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