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Updated: July 26, 2025
D'ye think at my age I wud be contint to dash fr'm wan justice coort to another pleadin' f'r habyas-corpus writs or test me principles iv personal expansion in a Noo Jarsey village? he says. 'I'd rather be a dead prisidint thin a live ex-prisidint. If I have anny pollytical ambition I'd rather be a Grant or a Garfield thin a Cleveland or a Harrison, he says.
Her voice was unmanageable. She had left to her only the tenement-bred instinct of concealment of any and all facts from an officer of the law. "Ye dinna ken! Maister Traill said i' the coort a' the bairns aboot kenned the dog. Was he leein'?" The question stung her into angry admission. "He wadna be leein'. But but the bittie dog isna here noo." "Syne, whaur is he? Oot wi' it!" "I dinna ken!"
'An' you're welcome to rayfuse me, says he, 'whin I ax your lave, says he; 'an' I'll ax your lave, says he, 'whenever I want to coort yourselves, says he; 'but it's your daughter I'm coortin' at the present, says he, 'an that's all I'll say, says he; 'for I'd as soon take a doase of salts as be discoursin' ye, says he.
I wish th' privilege iv standin' on me head an' playin' "A charge to keep I have" on the accorjeen with me feet. 'Granted, says th' coort. 'I will now charge th' jury as to th' law an' th' fact: I am all mixed up on th' law; th' fact is there's a mob outside waitin' to lynch ye if ye don't do what it wants. Th' coort will now adjourn be th' back dure. 'Where's th' pris'ner? says th' expert.
That old boy will be holdin' down his job whin there's a resignation fr'm th' supreeme coort bench at Wash'nton, says I. 'Th' first thing ye young Turks know ye'll-be gettin' a prisent fr'm ye'er sov'reign iv a necktie, says I, 'an' it won't fit ye, says I. "Well, sir, I was wrong. I knew I was wrong th' minyit I see a pitcher iv Abdul Hamid in th' pa-aper a snap-shot, mind ye!
A decision that seems agreeable may turn out like an acquaintance ye scrape up at a picnic. Ye may be ashamed iv it to-morrah. Manny's th' time I've bowed to a decree iv a coort on'y to see it go up gayly to th' supreem coort, knock at th' dure an' be kicked down stairs be an angry old gintleman in a black silk petticoat.
But a voice from quite other lips came over the rising background of scrub and tangled thicket. "Gang on coortin'," it said; "I'm no lookin', an' I canna see onything onyway." It was Jock Gordon. He continued: "Jock Scott's gane hame till his breakfast. He'll no bother ye this mornin', sae coort awa'." WINSOME and Ralph laughed, but Winsome sat up and put straight her sunbonnet.
"You remind me," said he, "when you're a-gate on your doctrines, of the Kaffirs out at Kimberley. If one of them found an ould hat in the compound that some white man had thrown away, they'd light a camp-fire after dark, and hould a reg'lar Tynwald Coort on it.
But wan day there was a foire, an' the police coort was burned down, an' the gaol was that singed they let the b'ys out, an' we rushed the police an' carried off the b'ys, an' "
"Then, Skinadre, I'll tell you I'll tell you, sarra," we ought to add here, that Harte was a first-rate mimic, and was now doing a drunken man, "I'll tell you, sarra that person was Nelson on the top of the monument in Sackville street no no I'm wrong; I could make poor ould Horace drunk any time, an' often did an' many a turn-tumble he got off the monument at night, and the divil's own throuble I had in gettin' him up on it before mornin', bekaise you all know he'd be cashiered, or, any way, brought to coort martial for leavin' his po-po-post."
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