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"Have you had a job to-day, Tim?" inquired a well-known legal gentleman of the equally well-known, jolly, florid-faced old drayman, who, rain or shine, summer or winter, is rarely absent from his post. "Bedad, I did, sor." "How many?" "Only two, sor." "How much did you get for both?" "Sivinty cints, sor." "Seventy cents!
'But I've med up me mind not to lave annywan talk to me about Dewey, I says, 'unless, I says, 'he subscribed th' maximum amount iv th' subscription, I says, 'thirty-eight cints, I says. 'So I'll thank ye to tip-toe out, I says, 'befure I give ye a correct imitation iv Dewey an' Mountjoy at th' battle of Manila, I says. An' he wint away."
'Don't allow ye'er frinzied American spirit to get away with ye'er manners, he says. 'Obsarve. he says, 'th' ca'm with which our brother Anglo-Saxon views th' scene, he says. 'Ah! he says, 'they're off an' be th' jumpin' George Wash'nton, I bet ye that fellow fr'm West Newton'll make that red-headed, long-legged, bread-ballasted Englishman look like thirty cints. 'Hurroo, he says.
I'll go where I can get something but an argymint f'r me money an' where I won't have to rassle with th' man that bates me carpets, ayether, I says, 'f'r fifty cints overcharge or good govermint, I says. An' I pike off to what Hogan calls th' effete monarchies iv Europe an' no wan walks on me toes, an' ivry man I give a dollar to becomes an acrobat an' I live comfortably an' die a markess!
That was where he come in. An' he took th' money an' carrid it over to a cor-rner iv th' gr-rounds where a la-ad had wan iv thim matcheens where ye pay tin cints f'r th' privilege iv seein' how har-rd ye can hit with a sledge-hammer, an' there he stayed till th' polis come ar-round to dhrive people off th' gr-rounds." "Well," Mr. Hennessy asked, "how goes th' war?" "Splendid, thank ye," said Mr.
"Ah, ha!" he cried as soon as he saw it was Flannery. "So you've come to your senses at last, have you? I thought you would! Bring the box in." "I hev no box," said Flannery coldly. "I hev a bill agin Misther John C. Morehouse for two dollars and twinty-foive cints for kebbages aten by his dago pigs. Wud you wish to pay ut?" "Pay Cabbages !" gasped Mr. Morehouse.
Flannagan said he wanted to go far, far from Tampico, because, he says, "Thim Tampican peons ain't seen tin cints apiece since they sold their souls," he says, "at that price," he says, "to the divil that presides over loafers." I told him I was going to Rosalia in Guadaloupe which had a local system of entertainment already, and he says, "Guadaloupe!" he says, "Rosalia! D'ye moind thim names!
And so good-by to ye, and if it's fifty cints ye can be givin' me ontil I'll find a kill it's God that'll repay ye." He got the money. But he got also conditionally a note from me to my next neighbor, a wealthy retired physician, possessed of a large domain, a man eminently practical and businesslike in his management of it.
On th' Foorth iv July they was a fut iv ice in Haley's slough, an' I was near flooded out be th' wather pipe bustin'. A man be th' name iv Maloney froze his hand settin' off a Roman candle near Main Sthreet, an' Tin cints, please, ma'am. Thank ye kindly. How's th' good man? As I said, it was a remarkable summer.
'If iver more thin wan comes at wanst, says th' Dock, 'I'm licked, he says. "But that ain't what I tell late at night, an' it ain't what I want to read. Ye bet it ain't. If I wint over to a book store an' blew in me good thirty-nine cints f'r a dollar-an'-a-half book, I'd want some kind iv a hero that I never see around these corners.
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