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Updated: June 3, 2025
Smokers, who know how tobacco develops the finer feelings, hardly require to be told what happened next. Suddenly Scrymgeour remembered that he was probably leaving the owner of the Heathen Chinee without any Arcadia Mixture. He at once filled his pouch, and, pulling softly back to the house-boat, replaced the tin on the window, his bosom swelling with the pride of those who give presents.
This was too much, and I broke one of the American rules of chivalry I became disputatious with a lady and slightly cynical; and when I wish to be cynical I always quote Mr. Harte, which usually "brings down the house." To hear a Chinese heathen quote the "Heathen Chinee" is supposed to be very funny.
"'Twill be a gr-reat occasion, Hinnissy, an' be-dad I'd like to be there to see it. Ye can't go too sthrong again' th' Chinee. Me frind th' impror iv Germany put it right. 'Brave boys, says he, 'ye ar-re goin' out now, he says, 'f'r to carry th' light iv Christyanity, he says, 'an' th' teachin's iv th' German Michael, he says, 'to th' benighted haythen beyant, he says.
You an' me looks at a Chinyman as though he wasn't good f'r annything but washin' shirts, an' not very good at that. Tis wan iv th' spoorts iv th' youth iv our gr-reat cities to rowl an impty beer keg down th' steps iv a Chinee laundhry, an' if e'er a Chinyman come out to resint it they'd take him be th' pigtail an' do th' joynt swing with him. But th' Chinyman at home's a diff'rent la-ad.
What the Agora was to the Athenian, what the Forum was to the Roman, what the "tea-house" still is to the "heathen Chinee" and the "ice-house" to the West Indian, all this, and more, the trakteer is to the Russian.
Ah Loy put the fiery spirit to his lips, and began to drink in slow sips, as a connoisseur sips port wine. "Good heavens," said Carew, "it'll burn the teeth out of his head." The Chinee sipped away, pausing to let the delicate fluid roll well into the tender part of his mouth and throat. "Welly stlong!" he said at last; but he finished the lot.
He was good-natured, child-like as a Heathen Chinee, talked freely with everybody in such English as he had at command, knew all the little people of the village, and was followed round by them partly from his personal attraction for them, and partly because he was apt to have a stick of candy or a handful of peanuts or other desirable luxury in his pocket for any of his little friends he met with.
'Whin ye get among th' Chinee, he says, 'raymimber that ye ar-re the van guard iv Christyanity, he says, 'an' stick ye'er baynet through ivry hated infidel ye see, he says. 'Lave thim undherstand what our westhren civilization means, he says, 'an' prod thim good an' hard, he says. 'Open their heads with ye'er good German swords to Eu-ropyan culture an' refinement, he says.
Never can reliance be placed in a true half-breed. The heathen Chinee is the ideal of truth and honesty when his wiles are compared with the dark ways of the Breed. Horrocks, with all his experience, was no match for the dusky-visaged outcast of the plains. Gautier had been deputied to convey certain information to Lablache by the patriarchs of the camp.
Ching shook his head till his black tail quivered, and closed his eyes in a tight smile. "Ching interpleter," he said, with a cunning look. "Ching know evelyting 'bout Chinaman. Talkee Chinee talkee Inglis velly nicee." "But talking English velly nicee doesn't make you understand about the pirates." "Yes; know velly much allee 'bout pilate," he said. "Velly bad men velly stupid, allee same.
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