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Updated: June 26, 2025
My lady in black, Mrs. Donald Bird, has been here all the afternoon, and she offers me twenty-five dollars a month to give up the Baer cubs and tell stories two hours a day in the orphan asylums and the Children's Hospital! Just what I love to do! Just what I always longed to do! Just what I would do if I were a billionaire! Is n't it heavenly?" "Well, well! We are in luck, Polly. Hurrah!
As near as I can remember it, he seemed to believe himself to have become a millionaire, a billionaire. He talked of diamonds, diamonds, diamonds. He seemed to be picking them up, running his fingers through them, and once I remember he seemed to want to send for Mr. Kahan and tell him something. 'I can make them, Kahan, he said, 'the finest, the largest, the whitest I can make them."
And now, keen on the track of this last great inspiration, the Billionaire strode to his revolving book-case, whirled it round and from its shelves jerked a thick volume, a smaller book and some pamphlets. "Let's have some facts!" said he, flinging them upon his desk, and seating himself before it in a costly chair of teak.
It looks visionary to me; but then, as you well say, so has every new idea always looked. Let me think, now; let me think." "Go ahead and think!" growled the Billionaire. "Think and be hanged to you! I'm going to act!" Waldron vouchsafed no reply, but merely eyed his partner with cold interest, as though he were some biological specimen under a lens, and smoked the while.
Maude Schofield's face betrayed more than even her tongue could have confessed. Coming to us directly as a result of the talk that the Atherton case provoked was another that involved the happiness of a wealthy family to a no less degree. "I suppose you have heard of the 'billionaire baby, Morton Hazleton III?" asked Kennedy of me one afternoon shortly afterward.
Smiling dourly, with satisfaction, he hung up and shoved the telephone away again, then turned to his still reflecting partner, who had now hoisted his patent leather boots to the window sill and seemed absorbed in regarding their gloss through a blue veil of nicotine. "Herzog," announced the Billionaire, "will be here in ten minutes, and we'll get down to business."
Herzog won't dare fill out the check, anyhow, because he knows he'd get into trouble if he did; and even though he should, he can collect nothing. I'll have payment stopped, at once, on that number. No danger, Flint!" "I don't know," mused the Billionaire. "It may be that this man has us just a little under his thumb. He, and he alone, understands the process.
The selection was continued until fifteen names had been obtained, including that of the new, dark-skinned President of Liberia, and Cosmo declared that he would not add another one. Then came the ten statesmen who were chosen with utter disregard to racial and national lines. In selecting his ten business magnates, Cosmo stated his rule: "I exclude no man simply because he is a billionaire.
The billionaire sits down at his mahogany to his bowl of bread and milk. When you reach the end of your career, just take down the sign "Goal" and look at the other side of it. You will find "Beginning Point" there. It has been reversed while you were going around the track. But this is humour, and must be stopped.
As a result America, to the provincial Englishman's understanding, is a land where a hunter is always being nibbled to death by sheep; or a prospective mother is being so badly frightened by a chameleon that her child is born with a complexion changeable at will and an ungovernable appetite for flies; or a billionaire is giving a monkey dinner or poisoning his wife, or something.
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