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Updated: June 29, 2025
A numerous company of rats and mice, remarkably fond of physical exercise, had fitted the place up as a gymnasium for themselves; and our kitchen, after ten o'clock, was turned into a blackbeetles' club. They came up through the floor and out through the walls, and gambolled there in their light-hearted, reckless way till daylight. The rats and mice Amenda did not object to.
"But, surely," exclaimed Ethelbertha, "you don't mean to say you're breaking off the match because you don't like his sausages!" "Well, I suppose that's what it comes to," agreed Amenda, unconcernedly. "What an awful idea!" sighed poor Ethelbertha, after a long pause. "Do you think you ever really loved him?"
But the most shamefully mercenary engagement that I think Amenda ever entered into was one with a 'bus conductor. We were living in the North of London then, and she had a young man, a cheesemonger, who kept a shop in Lupus Street, Chelsea. He could not come up to her because of the shop, so once a week she used to go down to him.
Then she added cheerfully, "I'll try again if you like, mum." Amenda was the most willing servant we ever paid wages to. Ethelbertha said she would step down and light the fire herself, and told Amenda to follow her and watch how she did it. I felt interested in the experiment, and followed also. Ethelbertha tucked up her frock and set to work. Amenda and I stood around and looked on.
"I don't see how any girl could as hadn't got the digestion of an ostrich." Ethelbertha looked puzzled. "But what has digestion got to do with it?" she asked. "A pretty good deal, mum," answered Amenda, "when you're thinking of marrying a man as can't make a sausage fit to eat."
After that, whenever some more than usually stirring crash or blood-curdling bump would cause us to leap from our seats and cry: "What on earth has happened?" Amenda would reply: "Oh, it's only James, mum, making himself generally useful."
Bowles to keep you away from soldiers. "'Ah, I can't look at it in the same light way that you do, mum, returned Amenda, somewhat reprovingly; 'a girl that can't see a bit of red marching down the street without wanting to rush out and follow it ain't fit to be anybody's wife.
It was not the right view to take of the case, I know, but, personally, that fact grieved me more than all the other incidents in the proceeding put together, sad though I felt these to be. After seeing it that night on Amenda's head, my pride in it was gone. "'Yes, sir, replied Amenda, still continuing her work, 'it was the first thing that came to hand.
"A stout gent in a straw 'at," answered the boy, staring round him bewilderedly. "Well, where is he?" asked Amenda. "I dunno," replied the boy, in an awed voice; "'e was a-standin' there, at the other end of the punt, a-smokin' a cigar." Just then a head appeared above the water, and a spent but infuriated swimmer struggled up between the houseboat and the bank.
On the present occasion she stood quietly by while the MacShaughnassy method of fire-laying was expounded to her. When Ethelbertha had finished she simply said: "You want me to lay the fires like that?" "Yes, Amenda, we'll always have the fires laid like that in future, if you please." "All right, mum," replied Amenda, with perfect unconcern, and there the matter ended, for that evening.
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