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Updated: June 19, 2025
It's a poor business arter all is electioneering, and when 'the Dancin Master is abroad, he's as apt to teach a man to cut capers and get larfed at as any thing else. It tante every one that's soople enough to dance real complete.
Sez he, "Bust my gizzud but it's grate doins," & then he larfed as if he'd kill hisself. Sez I, risin and puttin on a austeer look, "William, I woodunt be a fool if I had common cents." But he kept on larfin till he was black in the face, when he fell over on to the bunk where the hostler sleeps, and in a still small voice sed, "Twins!"
It's considered ongenteel, so I jist puts my finger on my nose, and winks, as much as to say, 'I ain't such a cussed fool as you take me to be, I can tell you. "When he seed I'd found him out, he larfed like any thing. Guess he found that was no go, for I warn't born in the woods to be scared by an owl, that's a fact.
'Mebbe they will, I ses, 'but I don't b'lieve none of it, I ses; 'an' b'jiminey, I ses back t' 'um, 'mebbe your fellers 'll all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun, I ses. He larfed. Well, they didn't run t' day, did they, hey? No, sir! They fit, an' fit, an' fit." His homely face was suffused with a light of love for the army which was to him all things beautiful and powerful.
The otter of roses is stronger than the rose, and a plaguy sight more valuable. Sall wrote it down; she said it warn't a bad idee that; but father larfed, he said he guessed minister's courtin' days warn't over, when he made such pretty speeches as that 'ere to the gals.
He was a shew, and when he got up to his hoss, and held on to his mane, and first lifted up one leg and then the other to let the water run out of his boots. I couldn't hold in no longer, but laid back and larfed till I thought on my soul I'd fall off into the river too.
"If they'd keep less horses, and more sheep, they'd have food and clothing, too, instead of buyin' both. I vow I've larfed afore now till I have fairly wet myself a-cryin', to see one of these folks catch a horse: may be he has to go two or three miles of an arrand. Well, down he goes on the dyke with a bridle in one hand, and an old tin pan in another, full of oats, to catch his beast.
I 'low'd the crows mout be afeard Of a man made outen straw. I 'low'd the crows mout be afeard, But laws! they warn't the least bit skeered, They larfed out, "Haw! haw-haw!" A long-tail squir'l up in th' top Of that air ellum tree, A long-tail squir'l up in th' top, A lis'nin' to the acorns drop, Says, "Sh! sh-sh!" at me.
"Well, he made no answer, nother; and thinkin' he didn't onderstand English, she tried him in Italian, and then in broken French, and then bungled out a little German; but no, still no answer. He took no more notice of her and her mister, and senior, and mountsheer, and mynheer, than if he never heerd them titles, but jist larfed on.
"Such a pair o' fools you never saw, Squire, since the last time you shaved afore a lookin' glass; and the stable boys larfed, and he larfed, and I larfed, and it was the only larf I had all that juicy day.
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