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"We can't teach our chil'n nuthin'," he philosophized. "They hev got ter hurt tharse'fs with all the thorns an' the stings o' the yearth. Our sperience with the sharp things an' bitter ones don't do them no sarvice. Naw, leetle darter naw!
Sneed," he said, with an air of reproach and upbraiding, "do ye mean ter tell me ez ye hev kem up hyar with the sheriff or dep'ty ter nose me out; me, who hev got no home, folks burned my house ter the yearth, namin' me 'horse-thief' an' sech, nor frien's, nor means, nor havin's, plumb run ter groun' like a fox or sech?"
An' all fur spite, fur he hev got nuthin' ye want now. An' I gin him up an' lef him lonely, an' all fur you-uns. Ye air mean, Abs'lom Kit-tredge, an' I'm the mos' fursaken fool on the face o' the yearth!" He tried to speak, but she held up her hand in expostulation. "Nare word fur I won't answer. I do declar' I'll never speak ter ye agin ez long ez I live." He flung away with a laugh and a jeer.
He do seem so onfeelin'. He loved that man bettah than anything on this yearth, an' I s'posed he'd take his death mighty hard; but what you reckon he said to me this mawnin'. I was i'onin' my black aidged handkerchief to take, when he says to me, sezee, 'What you want to put on mo'nin' for Rev'und Gawge for? He said to tell you all that he jus' gone through the toll-gate."
The Yankee tinman, with a candour that excited the admiration of the whole family, acknowledged that his Statesmen were the greatest rogues "on the face of the yearth;" and recounted instances of their trickery that would have startled the belief of any but the inexperienced and credulous people who were now listening to him.
"They'll do ye a power of good in the way o' calmin' yer narves." "Ef I was like some folks I wouldn't want bitters though made outer the simplest yarbs of the yearth, with jest enough sperrit to bring out the vartoos ez Deacon Stoer's Balm 'er Gilead is what yer meaning?
He has always some favorite word for the time being; which, for the sake of using often, he commonly abuses. Such as VASTLY angry, VASTLY kind, VASTLY handsome, and VASTLY ugly. Even his pronunciation of proper words carries the mark of the beast along with it. He calls the earth YEARTH; he is OBLEIGED, not OBLIGED to you. He goes TO WARDS, and not TOWARDS, such a place.
"Thet's whar you'd be lyin'! That yar heat kem out of the bowels of the yearth, kem up like out of a chimbley or a blast, and kep up that yar fire. And when she cools down a month after, and I got to strip her, there was a hole in the yearth, and a spring o' bilin', scaldin' water pourin' out of it ez big as your waist. And right in the middle of it was this yer."
'He won't eat like folks he can't talk an' he sleeps like a bat. I dunno why such a pusillanimous critter should cumber the yearth, and with that he puts his hand to his hip and pulls out a forty-five from under the tails of his coat. Fuzzy takes one look at it, and it didn't need any prodding to make him holler, and he tries to tear off the false tusks.
"The law!" exclaimed both women in a breath. "Thar ain't no law in heaven or yearth ez kin gin an' honest man what ain't his'n by rights," he declared. An insistent feminine clamor arose, protesting the sovereign power of the law. He quaked for a moment; dominant though he was in his own house, he could not face them, but he could flee.
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