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"They'll do ye a power of good in the way o' calmin' yer narves." "Ef I was like some folks I wouldn't want bitters though made outer the simplest yarbs of the yearth, with jest enough sperrit to bring out the vartoos ez Deacon Stoer's Balm 'er Gilead is what yer meaning?
"Young man," says he, calmin' down and motionin' me to a chair, "as usual, you seem to be more or less well informed on this matter yourself. Now let's have the rest of it." And just like that, all of a sudden, it's batted up to me. So I lets it come, with all the details about Uncle Dudley's frosty home life, and the reformer son out West that still thinks father is makin' good.
There was but one explanation. These men intended to kill me! Without a second's hesitation they rushed upon me, and I realized with heart-sinking that to attempt to resist would be utterly futile. I was entirely helpless in their hands! "Look sharp!" cried the black-bearded ruffian who had feigned illness. "Give him a settler, 'Arry. He wants his nerves calmin' a bit!"
Says he, lookin' as amiable and patient as a factory-cloth rag-babe, but as determined as a weepin' live one, with the colic, "You don't seem to get my meaning. I merely wished to remark that I could fix over your feller if you wanted me to" Oh! how burnin' indignant I wuz! But all of a sudden, down on this seethin' tumult of anger fell this one calmin' word, Meeting- house!
Josiah's liniment looked quite a little clearer, but some shadders still remained, and I went on tenderly and pictured out to him the first meal I would cook for him when we got home. And then his liniment grew peaceful and happy, and he sez gratefully: "You're so calmin' to the nerves, Samantha, when you set out to be, you're a perfect iodine."
How dast ye? She begun lookin' around for a club, so I talked fast. "'It's my religion, ma'am, says I. 'I'm a Mormon by profession, mixed with accident. Think a minute before you do somethin' that'll cause general regret. "'Well, she says, calmin' down, 'is there e'er an Oirish leddy in the lot? "'Not one, up till this joyful present, I answers.
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