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'If I were you, Wilf, she said, 'I'd go off somewhere for the day. The twins will only worry you. Wilfrid laughed. 'I am going to eat unexampled chops at the "Waggoner" in Hilstead, he replied. 'That's right. Good-bye, my dear boy. I wish you'd get fatter. 'Pooh, I'm all right. The landau rolled away. Wilfrid still loitered in the hall, a singular look of doubt on his face.
The admirable sleeper preferred to be a quiet butt, and the waggoner leisurely exhausted the fun that was to be had out of him; returning to it with a persistency that evinced more concentration than variety in his mind. At last Evan said: 'Your pace is rather slow. They'll be shut up in Fallowfield. I 'll go on ahead. You'll find me at one of the inns- the Green Dragon.
"A'most there now," said the waggoner "'Ere's a bit o' Lunnon a'ready! dirt an' muck and muddle! Where man do make a mess o' things 'e makes a mess all round! Spoils everything 'e can lay 'is 'ands on!" The approaches to the railway were certainly not attractive no railway approaches ever are.
Looking about he presently espied the singer, one who carried two pails suspended from a yoke upon his shoulders, a very square man; that is to say, square of shoulder, square of head, and square of jaw, being, in fact, none other than the Waggoner with whom he had fought, and ridden on the previous afternoon; seeing which, Bellew hailed him in cheery greeting.
'We're open to all the world to-night, except fever, said the hostess. 'Yes, she rejoined to Evan's order that the waggoner and his mate should be supplied with ale, 'they shall have as much as they can drink, which is not a speech usual at inns, when one man gives an order for others, but Evan passed it by, and politely begged to be shown in to one of the gentlemen who had engaged bedrooms.
His few recorded sayings all refer to the one central question; but healthy seriousness often best expresses itself in playful quaintness. He was once going somewhere disguised as a waggoner. He was overtaken by a constable who had a warrant to arrest him. The constable asked him if he knew that devil of a fellow Bunyan. 'Know him! Bunyan said.
The youth went with the waggoner, and in the evening they arrived at an inn where they wished to pass the night. Then at the entrance of the room the youth again said quite loudly, "If I could but shudder! If I could but shudder!" The host who heard this, laughed and said, "If that is your desire, there ought to be a good opportunity for you here."
Proceeding to inform Evan how George Stokes had snored in that characteristic manner from boyhood, ever since he and George had slept in a hayloft together; and how he, kept wakeful and driven to distraction by George Stokes' nose, had been occasionally compelled, in sheer self-defence, madly to start up and hold that pertinacious alarum in tight compression between thumb and forefinger; and how George Stokes, thus severely handled, had burst his hold with a tremendous snort, as big as a bull, and had invariably uttered the exclamation, 'Hulloa! same to you, my lad! and rolled over to snore as fresh as ever; all this with singular rustic comparisons, racy of the soil, and in raw Hampshire dialect, the waggoner came to a halt opposite the stone, and, while Evan strode to assist the girl, addressed himself to the great task of arousing the sturdy sleeper and quieting his trumpet, heard by all ears now that the accompaniment of the wheels was at an end.
'She, said Evan, 'must have a room to herself. She is ill. 'Must is must, sir, returned the gracious hostess. 'But I really haven't the means. 'You have bed-rooms, madam? 'Every one of them engaged, sir. 'By ladies, madam? 'Lord forbid, Sir! she exclaimed with the honest energy of a woman who knew her sex. Evan bade Jack go and assist the waggoner to bring in the girl.
"You don't mean to say as your 'eart's broke, do ye?" enquired the Waggoner in a tone of such vast surprise and disbelief, that Bellew turned, and propped himself on an indignant elbow. "And why the deuce not?" he retorted, "my heart is no more impervious than anyone else's, confound it!"
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