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Updated: May 25, 2025
I was rid on a rale the next day, a bunch of blazin fire crackers bein tied to my coat tales. It was a fine spectycal in a dramatic pint of view, but I didn't enjoy it. I had other adventers of a startlin kind, but why continner? Why lasserate the Public Boozum with these here things? Suffysit to say I got across Mason & Dixie's line safe at last.
As Jaybird rides up to camp he sees this Todd rolled in his blankets, snorin' to beat four of a kind. "Nacherally Jaybird's out to be joyous in a second. He rides up close to this he'pless shorthorn as he lays asleep, an' tosses a loop of his wet rawhide across his countenance where it's turned up in the moonlight. As it settles down cold an' startlin' on Todd's skin, Jaybird yells: "Snake, Todd!
Sez I, "It controls New York village and nobody denies it, and the piety and philanthropy and culture and philosophy of that village has to be drawed along by that Ring." And sez I, in low but startlin' tones of principle: "Where, where is it a-drawin' 'em to? Where is it drawin' the hull nation to?
Must have been one of these heavy-set sports in his day, a good feeder, and a consistent drinker; but by the flabby dewlaps and the meal-bag way his clothes hang on him I judge he's slumped quite a lot. Still, he's kind of a dignified, impressive old ruin, which makes the contrast with the other half of the sketch all the more startlin'.
Within wuz lots of carriages and horses and camels and donkeys and men, wimmen and children, some in strange and startlin' costooms, but the first thing Josiah spoke on wuz the name of a restaurant, "A Fast," it wuz over a door clost by. "A fast," sez he, "that don't look very encouragin' in a eatin' house. If it wuz Brek Fast it would look more hopeful."
Couldn't even tell whether he'd seen the picture or not, and by the time I works up an excuse to drift over by his elbow he's halfway through the pile. "Nothin' startlin' in the mornin' run, eh?" I throws out. "Oh, yes," says he. "Mallory reports that those St. Louis people have applied for another injunction.
Wall, suffice it to say, I sithed deep, and opened the other letter, thinkin' it would kind o' take my mind off. And for all the world! I couldn't hardly believe my eyes. But it wuz! It wuz from Serena Fogg. It wuz from the Authoress of "Wedlock's Peaceful Repose." I hadn't heard a word from her for upwards of four years. And the letter brung me startlin' intelligence.
It seems to me that if folks want to impress their personality on the world it is better to do it by noble deeds and words than by startlin' costooms." Sez she, "My dress is fur more comfortable than the ordinary dress of females." Sez I reasonably, "Short dresses are a boon and a blessin', but in my opinion they can be short enough for comfort and still not infringe on man's chosen raiment.
I fixed the little place fur her, an' I took my traps t' the lean-to so as t' give her plenty o' room, an' by an' by, like it sometimes happens after a stormy, lowerin' day, the sun bu'st through, an' toward the close the glory seemed right startlin'. I can see her face a shinin' now every time I shet my eyes. An' she grew that wise an' far-seein' that it made me oneasy.
All holes, gashes, dents and cracks were turned back or down to deceive the beholder. There were few whole pieces on the dresser. "Great guns, Mary," I exclaimed, "here are two new plates and a new cup! Well, well, and you never said a word in any of your letters about them." "Ye needn't get huffed if we don't tell ye all the startlin' things!" Mary said. "Ah!" I exclaimed, "there's her cup!"
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