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Updated: October 10, 2025
Such companionship as ours had been, strange and full of peril, was a closer bond than even the care of me that had made me think twice or more about Sexberga. Thoughts of her came lightly in idleness, but when I thought of Uldra, there was comradeship that had borne the strain of peril.
That done, she brought water and bandages, and stood by, absent-eyed and in silence, while Sexberga found his wounds and dressed them. It was the older woman who spoke first. "The fate of this maiden lies heavy on your mind, beloved," she said tenderly; "and I would have you know that my heart also is sorrowful.
And as we went Relf talked of Eldred, the Thane of Dallington, and the wedding that was to come. And all the while I believe that he was troubling about two things that were mixed in his mind fear that I was set aside by Sexberga, and a wish that I had been the bridegroom.
And so one day, as I had been with Spray to see some traps set by the bank of the Ashbourne river for otter, and was coming back with him, bearing a great one between us on a pole, we met Sexberga in the woodland track to the house, and Spray went on, while I walked back with her on her way to the old village where we had had the fight and talked about my baffled search.
"Are you not going?" he said in a choking sort of way. "No," I said, "not until I know what all this is about." "What good in going over that again?" he answered. "You know well enough. Let me be you have won." "I know," said I; "but you have not told me aught. I can only guess that you think that I have taken your place with Sexberga." "Aye and now you have won it." "I want it not," I answered.
But I have grown used to suffering, while she what has she known but love? Oh, have I not suffered enough for both? Could she not have been spared?" Her voice mounted to a cry of exceeding bitterness. Sister Sexberga rose, stretching toward her a tremulous pitying hand. The light that shines on the mountain-top was very bright on her wrinkled old face.
She looked astonished at this, and smiled oddly, and then I saw what I had done. "Forgive me," I said hastily; "I know not your name. That is what I ever called you to myself when I had to think of you in ordering matters." "Why 'Sexberga'?" she said, looking out seawards. "Truly I thought you like a lady of that name whom I knew. But now the likeness is gone," I said.
I said nought of this affair, as one might suppose, and made little excuse to Sexberga for leaving her. We had walked too far, and had returned too late to find her, I said. She pouted and said nothing, but I thought that her punishment had already begun. Next day there were ships heading in for Pevensea, and I rode away to find out what I could, and forgot Eldred and his troubles.
I thought she minded me of someone whom I knew, and at last, finding out a likeness as I looked for one, I called her in my own mind Sister Sexberga, for surely she was like that fair friend of mine. It never happened that I heard her name, for I was ever forward and away from the queen's complainings, and the nuns spoke little even to one another.
"'Come in here! said the rat in the trap to the rat outside, 'one is safe from the cat behind these bars." So we walked on for a little, and then he said: "How did she hear of Sexberga? I thought you had had no speech with her on the journey." "Nor had I," I answered. "I thought she was another silent nun.
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