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Updated: July 10, 2025
So it came to pass that I had nought wherewith to blame myself in the days to come, and I taught myself to look on Sexberga as a pleasant friend only, though it was hard at first, to say the truth. And I think that her talk of Hertha, and her jesting at my unknown bride, as she would call her, helped me, for it kept me mindful.
Now, in all this story telling there was one thing about which I said nothing, and that was my search for Hertha. It seemed to me that there was no need for doing so, and moreover, I would tell the lady thereof in private at some time. And I was glad that Sexberga asked me nought about it.
Eldred of Dallington and Sexberga stood hand in hand as I went, vowing that they would not be content till I returned for their wedding, for there was no trouble between them since the young thane had come in from his place one day as if nought had happened, calling me to walk with him when Sexberga had feigned to wish for none of his company.
Some of the men had ridden on, so that the homecoming feast should be spread for us, and there was the lady at the courtyard gates, and with her Sexberga, and a tall, handsome young thane, whom I knew for Eldred of Dallington; and there was Father Anselm, and Spray the smith, and many more whose faces I was glad to see again.
"Then you may find your Hertha yet," the lady said at last; and as she spoke Sexberga, of whom my mind was full, came into the hall. "You speak sadly together," she said, looking from one to the other, and noting that her mother's wheel was idle. "It is no happy tale that our friend has told me," the lady said, and so told her all that she had learned from me.
For there had begun to spring up in my mind a great liking for the words and ways of Sexberga, who had been pleasant in my eyes from the very first time that I had seen her and her mother in Earl Wulfnoth's courtyard. And I think that there is no wonder in this, for these ladies were ever most kind to me, and long were the days since I had spoken with any in such a home as this.
Now I wot that Ethelred has a friend who must be reckoned with." "Nay, but you would see the men," said Olaf. "Aye, and I have seen them," answered the earl grimly. When we sat down in the hall that night I was next to the maiden Sexberga, Relf's daughter, at the high table. She was very different from the great ladies of the court, who were all that I knew.
I knew not how you would take it." Then we both laughed, but it was not a hearty laughter, for each feared the other a little, as it seemed. "I am glad for Sexberga, if she is happy," said I. "Why, now, that is well," said Relf. "I had thought that I must break this matter gently to you." "Maybe you would have had to do so had I bided at Penhurst much longer," said I truly enough.
There was nought but friendliness in his grasp, and I could not blame him. I blamed Sexberga wholly. Then he laughed a little ruefully. "I am a fool with a sword," he said. "Will you teach me somewhat? I think I was mad when I used those evil words to you." "I have forgotten them," I answered; and so I had. One does not think much of what a man says in utmost rage as his.
Then I said frankly, knowing what he meant: "And I in her. That is partly the reason why I must go with Wulfnoth and Godwine westward. And the rest of the reason is this, that I would be near Eadmund. And maybe if I looked to find more reason yet it would be to leave Sexberga to work out matters without having me to fall back on when Eldred is to be made jealous." Thereat Olaf laughed long.
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