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I believe there was one once, but the poor thing never got any notice from either sex after she became a people, as you might say. "Well, I was going on to get off a few more things I'd got madded up to, but I caught the look in poor Hetty's face, and it would have melted a stone. Poor child!
He stopped and sez, "She is my wife." His indifferent mean madded me and I sez, "Well, you good-for-nothin' snipe you, instead of traipsin' all over the neighborhood tellin' of your wife's state, why hain't you to home buildin' a fire and heatin' soap stuns and bricks, and steepin' pepper tea?" "What for?" sez he, amazed like. "Why, to keep Malviny from freezin'."
What do you think I had better be, Samantha?" "A loonatick would strike me as the right thing, Josiah Allen, or an idiot from birth. "Or," sez I, speakin' more ironicler as my fear died away, leavin' in its void a great madness and tiredness, "if you'd brung your scythe along you might personate Old Father Time." I guess this kinder madded him, and sez he, "Don't you want to pose, Samantha?
But it had one good effect. When that man see she wuz there, he waded off, way out of sight of the project, and wouldn't mention it it madded him so to be on the same side of the fence she wuz so that it seemed to happen all for the best. Why, I took her as a dispensation from the first, and drawed all sorts of morels from her, and sights of 'em sights. But oh, it wuz tuff on me, fearful tuff.
Replied I, "To hear is to obey: do thou go before me!" She had tucked up her trousers to her knees, so that I saw a pair of calves that confounded thinker and lighter, and the maid herself was as saith the poet describing her, "O thou who barest leg calf, better to suggest * For passion madded amourist better things above!
I know WHY you done it; you done it 'cause you and the boss was mad at each other. The boss hadn't no righd to let you go " "Yes, he had, I madded him first; I was a fool. Of course I knowed more than him 'bout the work, but I hadn't no right to go against him. The boss is all right."
You ain't northin' else, when it comes to law. I'm a hard man when I'm madded, Crymble, and if I start in to keelhaul you for disobeyin' orders you'll " The Cap'n did not complete the sentence, but he bent such a look on the man in the chair that he trembled through all his frail length. "I wisht I could have stayed dead," whimpered Mr. Crymble, thoroughly spirit-broken.
Next day about noon I'm downtown and catch sight of Cousin Egbert setting in the United States Grill having breakfast; so I feel mean enough to go in and gloat over him some more. I think to find him all madded up and mortified; but he's strangely cheerful for one who has suffered. He was bearing up so wonderful that I asked why.
And when that man come back, he come a laughin'. And I wus that madded, to have him look in that sort of a scorfin' way, that I wouldn't say a word to him; and he come into the house a laughin', and sot down and crossed his legs a laughin', and says he, "What do you s'pose has become of the relation on your side?" And says he, snickerin' agin,
No butter is given you unless the doctor orders it. That madded Josiah and he said they kep' it back because they wuz clost and wanted to save. He is a great case for butter.
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