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Updated: June 28, 2025


But I thought to myself how handy it would be to have one on 'em in the neighborhood to rent out by the day to whitewash overhead or shingle the barn; they wouldn't even have to git up in a chair, and Id'no but they could lay a chimbly standin' on the ground; they wuz immense.

But seein' that I still looked dubersome he sez, "I don't feel very rugged this mornin' and I dread the crowded car; Id'no but I should faint away in 'em if I sot out." That of course settled the matter. As his anxious chaperone I consented to the project and he went and got the showiest one he could find. He didn't look for character or stability, only for gildin' and red paint.

I presume I could convince him if I had time enough, but we are busy creeters, Samuel and I, both on us, and Id'no as he'd have time to argy back and forth with me, but it would be well for him if he did, men must have wimmen advise 'em if they ever expect to amount to anything. But to resoom forwards.

"She sez you had 'em in your power once and could made a sample on 'em but didn't, and so, sez she, I've got to live on codfish, and the flour trust is bringin' up flour so Id'no but I'll have to eat saw-dust bread. You remember them powerful metafors in the Auger. I wanted to explain all this and I also had some errents of my own."

"That's just the thing!" sez Thomas J., "get him interested in that and he will forgit all about the Allen Exposition by the time it is done." But I sez in a discouraged way, "If I couldn't git him at it in the fall Id'no how I'm goin' to now." "But it is worth tryin'," sez Thomas J., "for his scheme must be broke up, and if you git your furnace in now it will be all ready for another fall."

I said tabs, but I meant tab, for Josiah had holt of the other with an almost frenzied grasp, and sez he, "Where will we go next, Samantha?" And I sez, "Id'no, mebby to the moon or Mars." And Blandina in trembling axents sez, "I wish I wuz safe at Mars." Her ma is old but got her faculties.

So Josiah and I sot off alone, and he bein' in good sperits and bein' gin to new and strange projects, proposed that we should take an ortomobile. I didn't favor the idee and said: "Id'no about it, Josiah, I feel kinder skairful about ortos, I fear that it might prove our last ride." "But," sez he, "with a good shuffler there hain't any danger."

We went into Government Building entrance that day, and I proposed to Josiah that we should stop at Liberal Arts Building on the way, and he at first demurred and sez: "Samantha, you're too liberal by half now for folks with our means and Id'no as I want you to spend your time in such a display."

Tirzah Ann sithed and sez, "I don't know what can be done." Thomas J. is more practical and sez, "Can't you git his mind on some work? Hain't there sunthin' that ort to be done round the farm? Or in the house?" "Id'no," sez I. "He can't plow or reap in February or pick gooseberries or wash sheep.

An' Id'no what ye done to him thar, an' I spose it's no good to ask a feller like ye; but he ain't ben the same man sence. That's how he is. He uster be chipper, an' peart, an' clost frens with me; an' now he don't say nothin. Ye can see fur yerself pooty durn soon." And the native bestowed on me a malign glance. Those who like nature unadorned can find it here.

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