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Updated: May 3, 2025
It was not till after tea, when they had pulled their chairs to the fire, that Julian said, "Hazlet, I was sorry to see you in bad company last night." "Me!" said Hazlet, feigning surprise. "You!" Hazlet saw that all attempt at concealment was useless. "For God's sake, don't tell my mother, or any of the Ildown people," he said, turning pale. "Is it likely I should?
A large bribe which D'Acres offered was firmly, yet respectfully refused, and they knew that next day they would be called to account. Having put Hazlet to bed they separated; Suton bade the others a stiff "Good-night;" and D'Acres as he left Bruce, said, "Bruce, we have been doing a very blackguard thing." "Speak for yourself," said Bruce.
The examiners were very lenient and forbearing, but Hazlet was plucked; plucked too in Scripture History, which astonished everybody, until it became known that he had attributed John the Baptist's death to his having "danced with Herodias's daughter" traced a connection between the Old and New Testaments in the fact of Saint Peter's having cut off the ear of Malachi the last of the prophets and stated that the substance of Saint Paul's sermon at Athens, was "crying vehemently about the space of two hours, Great is Diana of the Ephesians!"
That soul might have been low enough already; for Hazlet was, as we have seen, mean-hearted and malicious, and in him, although unknown to himself, the garb of the Pharisee but concealed the breast of the hypocrite.
I chose the most obtrusively religious man in Saint Werner's, and, in the course of a very short time, I had him, of his own will, roaring drunk." "And what's the inference?" "That what men call religion is half cant, half the accident of circumstances." "Pardon me, you're out in your conclusion; it only shows that Hazlet was a hypocrite, or at the best a weak, vain, ignorant fellow.
Before the evening was over, Bruce, in the opinion of all present, including Fitzurse himself, had fairly won his bet. "I shan't mind p-p-paying a bit," said the excellent young nobleman; "it's been such r-r-rare f-f-fun." Rare fun indeed! The miserable Hazlet, swilled with unwonted draughts, lay brutally comatose in a chair.
"Faugh," said Bruce, on his return to Camford, "that fellow Hazlet isn't worth making an experiment upon in corpore vili truly; but the creature is so wicked at heart, that even his cherished traditions crumble at a touch. He's no game; he doesn't even run cunning." "Then I hope you'll p-p-pay me my p-p-p-ponies," said Fitzurse.
I cannot persuade our neighbour Mrs Hazlet of this, but I should tremble to bring up Julian with no wider experience than she allows to her boy."
"What fun it would be to try the experiment of a saint's peccability on some living subject," said Bruce. "Rather! Suppose you try on that fellow Hazlet?" "Oh, you mean the lank party who snuffles the responses with such oleaginous sanctimony. Well, I bet you 2 to 1 in ponies that I have him roaring drunk before a month's over."
The more Hazlet coloured and hung back, the more Bruce, in his agreeable way, pressed to know, till at last Hazlet, unable to escape such genial importunity, reluctantly confessed that it was to a prayer-meeting in a friend's rooms. "Oh," said Bruce, with the least little laugh, "tea and hassocks, eh?"
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