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Updated: May 10, 2025
"Humph!" says I, "maybe he's got dyspepsy of the heart along with the other kind. She might disagree with him. What makes you so cock sartin?" "'Cause he's a widower," he says. "Them's the softest kind." "Well, you ought to know," I told him. "You're one yourself. But, from what I've heard, soft things are scarce in Wall Street. Bet you seventy-five cents to a quarter it don't work."
Suddenly the old fellow's mood changed; with a patronizing smile he turned to Mr. Weston, and said, "Master, you must 'scuse me: I aint well dis evening. I has the dyspepsy; my suggestion aint as good as common. I think dat ox was done too much." Mr. Weston could not restrain a smile at his grotesque appearance, and ridiculous language.
You've nigh stove me all up." "I am sorry, Mr. Salters. I came to sea on account of nervous dyspepsia. You advised me, I think." "You an' your nervis dyspepsy be drowned in the Whale-hole," roared Uncle Salters, a fat and tubby little man. "You're comin' down on me agin. Did ye say forty-two or forty-five?" "I've forgotten, Mr. Salters. Let's count." "Don't see as it could be forty-five.
'The climate of Norway, for example, says Dr Burgess, 'is admirably suited, during several months of the year, between the middle of May and the middle of September, for certain forms of dyspepsy, lesions of the nervous system affecting the mind, or that form of general innervation which results from an overwrought brain, and diseases of repletion.
How Enoch Pillsbury, the "'pottecary, like t' ha' killed" Old Man Grout, sending him writing fluid instead of the dark mixture for his "dyspepsy."
And the way I figger it, not havin' vittles reg'lar has give me dyspepsy, and dyspepsy has made me cranky, and not safe to be squdged too fur. And that's the whole trouble. I've got a hankerin' for strorb'ries. They may make me more supple. P'raps not, but it's wuth tryin'." He tossed the cans into his sack in a perfectly reckless manner, until Broadway was sick and hiccuping with fear.
Instead of replying, Parker, like a true artist, knowing he had the ear of his audience, dramatically flashed a question upon them. "Did you ever hear of a Chinaman having dyspepsy?" "Never heard he had sabe enough to hev ANYTHING," said a scorner. "No, but DID ye?" insisted Parker. "Well, no!" chorused the group. They were evidently struck with the fact.
It happened that in the turn of the year, and while old earth was busy with her flowers, the fresh wind blew, the little bird sang, and Hippias Feverel, the Dyspepsy, amazed, felt the Spring move within him. He communicated his delightful new sensations to the baronet, his brother, whose constant exclamation with regard to him, was: "Poor Hippias!
As he had no means of confuting his nephew, all he could do safely to express his disbelief in him, was to utter petulant remarks on his powerlessness to appear at the dinner-table that day: upon which Berry just then trumpeting dinner Algernon seized one arm of the Dyspepsy, and Richard another, and the laughing couple bore him into the room where dinner was laid, Ripton sniggering in the rear, the really happy man of the party.
He did not reflect how long it had lasted. Indeed, his indigestion of wrath had made of him a moral Dyspepsy. It was not mere obedience that held Richard from the aims of his young wife: nor was it this new knightly enterprise he had presumed to undertake. Hero as he was, a youth, open to the insane promptings of hot blood, he was not a fool. There had been talk between him and Mrs.
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