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Updated: June 29, 2025
"A thing like that ought never to be kept a minute. It's a terrible confession, damning evidence, a self-made exposure, and to keep it is too brutal, too hard on the woman. If anything had happened to me and it had been read, 'Not all the King's horses nor all the King's men could put Humpty Dumpty together again." Then he recalled the brief letter he had written her in reply.
Then they thrust their noses into the stone pitchers. Peppers gulped a swallow, then he lowered his pitcher and looked at Ump. "Humpty Dumpty," he said, speaking slowly and turning down his thumb as he spoke, "when you git your fall, it'll be another job for them king's horses." "Parson," said Ump, "I know how to light." "How?" said Peppers. "Easy," said Ump. Peppers roared.
Mary, where are you I always colloguing with Jane." Mary comes in: a little dumpty body, with a yellow face, and a red nose, the smile of an angel, and a heart full of many little secrets of other people's and of one great one of her own, which is no business of any man's and with fifty thousand pounds as her portion, for she is an only child.
Years have rolled by since this company of poor strolling players attempted "Humpty Dumpty" in Newport, but the memory of that night still remains green in the minds of many. "He employs his fancy in his narrative and keeps his recollections for his wit." A more delightful morning than that which followed the night of the strollers' eventful performance it would be difficult to imagine.
But it had already been in it, and played out its part. And the man told them about Humpty Dumpty who fell downstairs and married a princess. The children clapped their hands and cried, 'Another! another! They wanted the story of Henny Penny also, but they only got Humpty Dumpty. The fir-tree stood quite astonished and thoughtful; the birds in the wood had never related anything like that.
They all repeated it after her in a singsong chorus, the four pairs of feet keeping time in a soldierly tread as they marched past the garden: "Diddledy diddledy dumpty! Three old maids in a plum-tree! Half a crown to get them down, Diddledy diddledy dumpty!"
"How does she go?" inquired Webber. "She goes like this," Jim replied, clearing his throat: "'Darling, I am growing o-old, Silver bars among the gold; Shine upon te dum te dumpty Far from the old folks at home." "Don't know it," said a voice. "Neither do I." "Nor I." "Nor I." The sheep of the flock all followed in a chorus of "Nor I's."
A bonfire of committees, communes, Jabberwocks, clubs, Green Walruses, False Whiskers, Snickersnees, War Boards, and Eagles Shrieking from their Mountain Heights with an obligato by the Avon Comedy Four I'm a Jazz Baby.... A mighty nation had gone to war. Humpty Dumpty and the March Hare wheeled out the Home Guards.
'Now I declare that's too bad! Humpty Dumpty cried, breaking into a sudden passion. 'You've been listening at doors and behind trees and down chimneys or you couldn't have known it! 'I haven't, indeed! Alice said very gently. 'It's in a book. 'Ah, well! 'That's what you call a History of England, that is. Now, take a good look at me! She watched him a little anxiously as she took it.
It might have been written a hundred times, easily, on that enormous face. Humpty Dumpty was sitting with his legs crossed, like a Turk, on the top of a high wall such a narrow one that Alice quite wondered how he could keep his balance and, as his eyes were steadily fixed in the opposite direction, and he didn't take the least notice of her, she thought he must be a stuffed figure after all.
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