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Updated: June 6, 2025
"Dhrunk! Musha, long may you reign, Sir! Be the scythe in my hand, I'd rather Och, faix, you're one o' the ould sort, sir the raal Irish gintleman, your honor. An' sure your name's far and near for that, any how."
This night I retire dhrunk, as a gintleman should be. To-morrow I begin on me wardrobe. I'm goin' a longish journey, lad, back to ould England. I'm a long-lost son, an' thank God! I've not been discovered yit, an' hope I'll not be fer a time. "I'll till ye a secret, which heretofore I've always neglicted to mintion to anybody.
Biddy had less self-command than the others, and she was heard saying aloud, "Och! and did n't I dhrame of the blessed springs and wells of Ireland the night, and haven't I dhrunk at 'em all? but now it's over, and I am awake, no good has't done me, and I'm ready to die for one dhrap of wather." That drop soon came, however, and with it the blessed relief which such a boon bestows.
They'd carry on a deal afterward same as we're supposed to carry on. I've bin turned out of a measly arf-license pub down Lambeth way, full o' greasy kebmen, 'fore now," said Ortheris with an oath. "Maybe you were dhrunk," said Mulvaney, soothingly. "Worse nor that. The Forders were drunk. I was wearin' the Queen's uniform."
"Well, sir, glory be but times has changed whin they land me gr-reat an' good frind with a fine that's about akel to three millyon dhrunk an' disorderly cases. 'Twud've been cheaper if he'd took to dhrink arly in life. I've made a vow, Hinnissy, niver to be very rich. I'd like to be a little rich, but not rich enough f'r anny wan to notice that me pockets bulged.
O'Rourke, who had seated himself gravely on the scraper, and was weeping. "Hasn't the man any friends?" "Too many of 'em, mum, an' it's along wid dhrinkin' toasts wid 'em that Larry got throwed. The punch that spalpeen has dhrunk this day would amaze ye. He give us the slip awhiles ago, bad 'cess to him, an' come up here.
"Gharri dhriver here, dhrunk, Sorr," sez I; "I've found his gharri sthrayin' about cantonmints, an' now I've found him." "Oh!" sez the Capt'n; "fwhat's his name?" I stooped down an' pretended to listen. "He sez his name's Jungi, Sorr," sez I.
Whin he's dhrunk he makes th' bluff to his own heart. Dhrink turns him inside out as well as upside down, an' while he's congratulatin' himsilf on th' fine man he is, th' neighbors know him f'r a boaster, a cow'rd, an' something iv a liar. That th' ladies see an' hate.
Those are the Black Oirish, an' 'tis they that bring dishgrace upon the name av Oireland, an' thim I wud kill as I nearly killed wan wanst. 'But to reshume. My room 'twas before I was married was wid twelve av the scum av the earth the pickin's av the gutter mane men that wud neither laugh nor talk nor yet get dhrunk as a man shud.
O'Rourke, who had seated himself gravely on the scraper, and was weeping. "Hasn't the man any friends?" "Too many of 'em, mum, an' it's along wid dhrinkin' toasts wid 'em that Larry got throwed. The punch that spalpeen has dhrunk this day would amaze ye. He give us the slip awhiles ago, bad 'cess to him, an' come up here.
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