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Updated: May 11, 2025
With a beating brain, and in a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, I threw my clothes hither and thither into my trunk; Lady Jane and Emily both flitting every instant before my imagination, and frequently an irresolution to proceed stopping all my preparations for departure, I sat down musing upon a chair, and half determined to stay where I was, coute qui coute.
I shall begin to consider myself half a heroine, after an exploit I performed this evening. The men who shared our dinner having gone out to observe what was passing, I determined, coûte que coûte, to pay a visit to my friend Madame Craufurd. I attired myself as simply as possible, and, attended by a valet de pied, sallied forth.
But when a week passed and the seat at the desk near the door still remained vacant, and when no allusion was made to the circumstance by any individual of the class when, on the contrary, I found that all observed a marked silence on the point I determined, COUTE QUI COUTE, to break the ice of this silly reserve.
In a war against Russia, more than in any other war, c'est le premier pas qui coûte. If the first operations are unsuccessful, their effect on the whole position will be wider than in any other war, since they will excite in the country itself not sympathetic feelings only, but also hostile forces which would cripple the conduct of the war.
Martin felt so overcome as he emerged into the air that he did not know at first how to walk straight, yet he had not drunk half so much as the rest. "Ce n'est que le premier pas qui coute." "Magog! Magog! open! open!" "Not such a noise, you'll wake the old governor above," alluding to the master of the hostel. "He won't wake, not he. It does not pay to see too much. He knows his own interests."
He inherited and coute que coute determined to persist in the belief that there was a personal God "a Maker, voiceless, formless, within our own soul." To Emerson he writes in 1836, "My belief in a special Providence grows yearly stronger, unsubduable, impregnable"; and later, "Some strange belief in a special Providence was always in me at intervals."
Alfred had now a soft but dangerous antagonist in Mrs. Dodd. All the mother was in arms to secure her daughter's happiness, coute qu'il coute! and the surest course seemed to be to detach her affections from Alfred. What hope of a peaceful heart without this? and what real happiness without peace?
I gave myself up for lost, and, in a sudden access of desperation, was on the point of rushing out coûte que coûte, when the lady ran forward; sprang lightly in; recoiled; and uttered a little breathless cry of surprise and apprehension! "Mon Dieu, Madame! what is it? Are you hurt?" cried two or three of the gentlemen, running out, bareheaded, to her assistance.
Then a queer shiver ran all down her spine and she set her teeth, for she perceived that halting, shuffling footsteps had begun to follow those light and graceful footsteps of her own. "Ce n'est que le premier pas qui coute," she said to herself. "I have no fear for the rest." Yet, crossing the near half of the great room, she sank down on a sofa, thankful there was no farther to go.
The French have a proverb, which is familiar to us all: "Ce n'est que le premier pas qui coute." There is a great deal of truth in it, as experience teaches us, and as Arthur found. "Of what use my dependence upon God," Arthur also reasoned with himself ten times a day, "if it does not serve to bear me up in this, my first trouble? As well have been brought up next door to a heathen.
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