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Updated: June 20, 2025
An' yet I told Charlie 'fore they went I never'd say I was tired again in all my born days, only let me get rid of 'em this time." "How'd you manage with 'em this season?" asked Mrs. Pray, as if her question concerned the importation of some alien plant. Caddie opened her eyes and came to a posture more adapted to sustaining her end of the conversational burden.
"Why, Caddie," said he, "you can't go round settin' houses a-fire. That's arson." "Is it?" she inquired. "Well, I dunno what it's called, but if that other one gets the better o' me, mebbe that's what I shall do." Myron held her hand now with an involuntary fervor of his own, not so much because she bade him, but with the purpose of restraining her.
A good soldier." He suspected that she was rather close to unusual tears. As they approached the clubhouse they saw Graham and Marion Hayden standing outside. Graham was absently dropping balls and swinging at them. It was too late when Clayton saw the danger and shouted sharply. A ball caught the caddie on the side of the head and he dropped like a shot.
It is a serious moment; not one of the little crowd of observers, the gallery that accompany the players, dares to speak, or even cough. The caddie who sneezes is lost, for he will be accused of distracting his master's attention. The ladies begin to appear in the background, ready to greet the players, and to tell the truth, are not very welcome to the nervous golfer.
The principle of my own game, and that which I always impress upon others when I have an opportunity, is, "Reach the hole in the easiest way you can." The easier way is generally the surer way. When, therefore, there is a choice between a full shot with one club or a half shot with another, I invariably ask the caddie for the instrument with which to make the half shot.
"They're afraid o' gettin' old an' they're afraid o' gettin' fleshy," Caddie announced. "Well, there's no crime in gettin' old, now is there? An' if there is, you can't put a stop to 't in any court o' law. An' as for bein' fleshy, if you be you be, an' you might as well turn to an' have your clo'es made bigger an' say no more." Mrs.
She says you used to like sweet things, and it was once a pleasure to cook for you; but if you enjoy anything you eat now you never confess it to her. She says you eat, but you don't know the name of what you're eating, and one thing is the same as another. I think her feelings are getting hurt, Uncle Winthrop." "Are they? I'm sorry. Caddie is a spoiled creature.
"Terrible foolish it was. That's one o' the things doctors get up to feather their own nest." "No, Myron, it ain't foolish," said his wife. She moved her chair nearer, and her glasses glittered at him. "It ain't foolish, for I'm one o' that same kind, and I know." His eyes came open, and he turned his head to look at her. "Ain't you feelin' well, Caddie?" he asked kindly.
The turf suffered severely every time this player made use of his irons, and the caddie shook his head gloomily and sadly as he witnessed the destructive work that went on daily.
Compelled by a rigid etiquette to silent, unemotional formality, they boil interiorly with contempt for people of the better sort, not only because their golf is usually atrocious such as every caddie brilliantly surpasses in his leisure moments but because the speech provoked by their inveterate failures is commonly all too human.
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