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Updated: June 5, 2025
It chanced that it lay at Ludgate Circus, and it also chanced not in the least unnaturally that at half-past eleven he was standing at Kensington Church waiting to be beckoned to once more by a 'bus-conductor. The only unnatural thing was that several 'buses bound for Ludgate Circus passed without winning the patronage of Mr. Russell. The conductor came. Mr.
Whether or not a serious naturalist is justified in excluding from a chapter on marsupial animals a careful and detailed consideration of the bookmaker and the 'bus-conductor, I will not stay to argue. I refrain from dealing at length with these interesting creatures in this place, because of the regrettable absence of specimens from the Zoo.
"Come, come," said the actor. "Whut's wrung with these days? A German ship sunk yesterday. Thut's pleasurable enough." The 'bus-conductor turned a cold eye upon him. "I can cheer, but not laugh over such news as that," she said pompously. "Doesn't even a German find the sea bitter to drown in?
That always looks a glorious life. You merely walk about and say, 'Yes, madam? This way for hose, madam. Something to live on and nothing to do, as the poet says. But I expect they are difficult places to get, without previous experience. Short of that, I could be one of the men round stations that open people's cab doors and take the luggage out; or even a bus-conductor, who knows?
The 'bus-conductor gave him his ticket, and then took her stand upon her platform, more or less unaware that Mr. Russell and the actor, both next to the door and opposite to each other, were looking at her with a pleased look. Mr. Russell thought for some time, and then he said, "'T's a b'tiful day." "That's what it is," replied the 'bus-conductor.
I only paid you as far as Chancery Lane. I owe you another halfpenny," said Mr. Russell. "A penny," said the 'bus-conductor. As he disappeared she thought, "There is something remarkable about that man. I wish I hadn't been so prosy. I wonder where and why Anonyma picked him up." When Mr. Russell came home that evening, he said, "I met "
This child hopes to be a chimney-sweep, and this longs to be a railway-porter; scores trust to follow the sea and dozens wish for to be a soldier, or a 'bus-conductor, a gardener, or a road-cleaner, as the ambition takes 'em.
Wotever Cap'n Tarbell could ha' seen in 'er, I can't think. "She was quiet, and stupid, and bad-tempered. When the bus-conductor came round for the fares she 'adn't got any change; and when we got to the hall she did such eggsterrordinary things trying to find 'er pocket that I tried to look as if she didn't belong to me.
When the 'bus started again, the bus-conductor said, "Don't you think the only way you can get pleasure out of it all is by treating life as a bead upon a string?" "That's a sufficient way, surely," said Mr. Russell. "If you can truly reach it." In the Strand he asked, "May I come in this 'bus again?" "This is a public 'bus," observed the 'bus-conductor. "This is Monday," said Mr. Russell.
At home he often recited little confused poems of his own composition to his Hound, and never noticed the surprise of the servants. He never knew that in the company of Mr. and Mrs. Gustus and Kew he was hardly allowed to utter three consecutive words, although, when he was away from them, and especially when he was with the 'bus-conductor, he felt a delightful lack of restraint.
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