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Updated: May 13, 2025
Bilkins, however, after the first vexation, missed Margaret from the household; missed her singing, which was in itself as helpful as a second girl; missed her hand in the preparation of those hundred and one nameless comforts which are necessities to the old, and wished in his soul that he had her back again.
Bilkins, with his wig pushed back from his forehead, and his eyes fixed vacantly on The Weekly Chronicle, which he held out at arm's length before him. "Good heavens, Ezra! what is the matter?" Mr. Bilkins turned his eyes upon her mechanically, as if he were a great wax-doll, and somebody had pulled his wire. "Can't you speak, Ezra?"
And Mr. O'Rourke with a wavering forefinger drew a diagram of the interesting situation on the door-step. "Well," returned Mrs. Bilkins, "if you're a married man, all I have to say is, there's a pair of fools instead of one. You had better be off; the person you want doesn't live here." "Bedad, thin, but she does." "Lives here?" "Sorra a place else." "The man's crazy," said Mrs.
"Troth, thin, he does n't," reflected Margaret, and the reflection comforted her. "At any rate, I 'll go and look him up after breakfast," said Mr. Bilkins. And after breakfast, accordingly, Mr. Bilkins sallied forth with the depressing expectation of finding Mr. O'Rourke without much difficulty.
Considering the row there'll be afterwards, when Bilkins finds out, we ought to get £10,000. It will be most unpleasant, and it's bound to come. Most of the others will refuse the Order as soon as they hear they've been given it, and Bilkins will storm horribly and say he has been swindled, not that there is any harm in swindling Bilkins. After that egg racket of his he deserves to be swindled.
The next day, the landlady wore it about the house, when Mavis was surprised and amused to see that it was a shabby imitation of her own. At first, she could scarcely believe such emulation to be possible, but when, after buying a necessary pair of gloves, she found that her landlady had got a new pair for herself, she saw that Mrs Bilkins was possessed by jealousy of her lodger.
The Princess remained in her stateroom; Tommy's grouch for Monsieur had grown out of all proportion, so the professor's gay mood lost much of its bloom; Echochee, whenever she left her mistress, scowled at us as though we were pirates; Gates, knowing that my plans had become miserably pied, grumbled over trifles; Bilkins sniffled, and the mate walked about with curses fairly bristling from him like pin-feathers.
She got a room from Mrs Bilkins for six shillings a week, on the understanding that she did not give much trouble. "There's only one thing. I suppose you have a bath of some sort?" said Mavis. "That is funny," said Mrs Bilkins. "I've never been asked such a thing in my life." "Don't you wash?" "In penny pieces; a bit at a time." "But never all over, properly?" "You are funny.
Bilkins had her taste in the matter, and preferred them sober. But as this could not always be, she tempered her wind, so to speak, to the shorn lamb. The flushed, prematurely-old face that now looked up at her moved the good lady's pity. "What do you want?" she asked, kindly. "Me wife." "There's no wife for you here," said Mrs. Bilkins, somewhat taken aback.
"We're packing, sir," said the sailor who tied my punt. "Packing? Why?" "Orders, sir." Without loss of time I hunted up Tommy, finding him and Bilkins busy at carpentry. "What's in the wind?" I brusquely demanded, forgetting that Tommy was rather particular about the way people addressed him.
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