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Updated: May 23, 2025
"'Twas after three weeks standin' off an' on, an' niver makin' headway excipt through the eyes, that a little drummer boy grinned in me face whin I had admonished him wid the buckle av my belt for riotin' all over the place, 'An' I'm not the only wan that doesn't kape to barricks, sez he.
'Tis like you're hurt. "He turned round stiff as a ramrod an' damned the eyes av me up an' down for an impartinent Irish-faced ape. If that had been in barricks, I'd ha' stretched him an' no more said; but 'twas at the Front, an' afther such a fight as Silver's Theatre I knew there was no callin' a man to account for his timpers. He might as well ha' kissed me.
But Rip were a bit on a rover, an' hed a habit o' breakin' out o' barricks like, and trottin' round t' plaice as if he were t' Cantonment Magistrate coom round inspectin'. The Colonel leathers him once or twice, but Rip didn't care an' kept on gooin' his rounds, wi' his taail a-waggin' as if he were flag-signallin' to t' world at large 'at he was 'gettin' on nicely, thank yo', and how's yo'sen? An' then t' Colonel, as was noa sort of a hand wi' a dog, tees him oop.
Nine roun's they were even matched, an' at the tenth About that palanquin now. There's not the least throuble in the world, or we wud not ha' brought ut here. You will ondherstand that the Queen God bless her! does not reckon for a privit soldier to kape elephints an' palanquins an' sich in barricks.
"Next morn the news was through all the rig'mint, an' there was nothin' that the men did not tell. O'Hara reports, fair an' easy, that Vulmea was come to grief through tamperin' wid his rifle in barricks, all for to show the mechanism. An' by my sowl, he had the impart'nince to say that he was on the sphot at the time an' cud certify that ut was an accidint!
'But the Capt'n niver said a single wurrd. He choked where he stud, an' thin he went into his thrap widout sayin' good-night, an' I wint back to barricks. 'And then? said Ortheris and I together. 'That was all, said Mulvaney; 'niver another word did I hear av the whole thing. All I know was that there was no e-vasion, an' that was fwhat I wanted.
Fwhat d'you take me for? she sez. "'A woman, sez I; 'the prettiest in barricks. "'A wife, sez she; 'the straightest in cantonmints! "Wid that I dropped my arm, fell back tu paces, an' saluted, for I saw that she mint fwhat she said." "Then you know something that some men would give a good deal to be certain of. How could you tell?" I demanded in the interests of Science.
Fwhat d'you take me for?" she sez. "A woman," sez I; "the prettiest in barricks." "A wife," sez she; "the straightest in cantonmints!" 'Wid that I dropped my arm, fell back tu paces, an' saluted, for I saw that she mint fwhat she said. 'Then you know something that some men would give a good deal to be certain of. How could you tell? I demanded in the interests of Science.
He'd come in to barricks wid his cap on three hairs, an' lie on his cot and stare at the ceilin', and now an' again he'd fetch a little laugh, the like av a splash in the bottom av a well, an' by that I knew he was schamin' new wickedness, an' I'd be afraid. All this was long an' long ago, but ut hild me straight for a while.
'I'm in hell now! "'God be good to us all, I sez, for I saw his face. 'Will ye tell a man the throuble. If 'tis not murder, maybe we'll mend it yet. "At that he laughed. 'D'you remimber fwhat I said in the Tyrone barricks about comin' to you for ghostly consolation. I have not forgot, he sez. 'That came back, an' the rest av my time is on me now, Terence.
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