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Updated: May 23, 2025
I thought, "I'm a better preacher than that; I can preach the Truth." So I went back to preaching with fresh courage and determination. The next year just before the Minnesota State Camp Meeting at St. Paul Park, I came home with another load of discouragement. It seemed to me I was backslidden and that Brother Nelson and Brother Tubbs were going to deal with me at the meeting and tell me so.
Have been miserably encroached upon by arbitrary government, whereby the subjects have been oppressed in their consciences, persons and estates, by all the oaths and bonds pressing conformity with the corruptions, novations, and usurpations the government of church and state, and persecutions for recusancy, and by impositions of the freedom of secret thoughts, which no law of men can reach, which yet in the time of the late persecution were extorted, by threatening of death and manifold tortures; the church's liberties have also been invaded by the ecclesiastical supremacy, declared by a blasphemous law inherent to the crown, which law, though it be not now in force, is yet still kept up in practice by the indiction, prorogation, and dissolution of Assemblies, and prescribing diets and causes of fasting and thanksgiving in the magistrate's name and authority, to which ecclesiastical supremacy, usurped by the magistrate, this backslidden church hath always subjected, and now to discover to the world that they are not ashamed of this surrendering of our Lord's prerogative to his enemies they have, in their Assembly, holden at Edinburgh, Anno 1710, most explicitly and fully subscribed to this ecclesiastical supremacy, in their Act for observation of fasts, wherein they affirm, "that it is much for the honor of God that fasts whether appointed' by the church, or the civil magistrate, be duly observed."
Nae doubt, the best and wisest may err Once, twice, and thrice have I backslidden, man, and dune three things this night my father wadna hae believed his een if he could hae looked up and seen me do them." He was by this time arrived at the door of his own dwelling.
It was a mistake to tell that he was backslidden without first knowing the facts of the case. A mother has three children. One of them comes running in crying almost as hard as it can, and says, "John hit me with a stick." Mother calls John and punishes him for hitting Sister with his stick. By and by Mother finds that John did not do it, but that a playmate did. A mistake was made.
Yea, and all decayed, apostatized, and backslidden Christians must, in order to their recovery again to God, have their hearts broken, their souls wounded, their spirits made contrite, and sorry for their sins. Come, come, conversion to God is not so easy and so smooth a thing as some would have men believe it is.
Nay, take all the promises in the Bible, all the freest promises, with all the variety of expressions of what nature or extent soever, and they can but amount to the expressions of this very promise, "I will in no wise cast out;" I will for nothing, by no means, upon no account, however they have sinned, however they have backslidden, however they have provoked, cast out the coming sinner. But,
Again, when David had backslidden, and had committed adultery and murder in his backsliding, he must be sent to by name: "And," saith the text, "the Lord sent Nathan unto David." This man also was far gone: he took a man's wife, and killed her husband, and endeavoured to cover all with wicked dissimulation.
"It hangs to him. Bet you two to one he takes it along." "You're right, Adjutant; spoken like a soldier," swore Gildersleeve, "And the Bloody Fourteenth, too. It will march into the burning pit as far as any regiment; and the whole brigade, yes, sir! But a backslidden shepherd, my God! Have we come to that?
The hill, the brook are there, but the aged horse looks in vain for the welcome open gate and watering place, and, drooping his head, walks slowly by in sadness. Ministers and church people tread that yard no more. The very ground seems backslidden. Sabbaths have fled. Prayers and praises are no longer echoed. That light is put out, and "how great is that darkness!"
Apparently he ignored Ezra Brunt, but the man was convicted of sin, and felt himself melting like an icicle in front of a fire. He recalled the days of his youth, the piety of his father and mother, and the long traditions of a stern Dissenting family. He had backslidden, slackened in the use of the means of grace, run after the things of this world.
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