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Updated: June 10, 2025
Martha says she has a bad sick headache and ain't been outside the house fur four or five days. I asts her why she don't wait on her. But she don't want her to, Martha says. She's been staying in the house ever since we been in town, and jest wants to be let alone. I thinks all that is kind of funny.
And he follers it up: "Dolly, darling," he says, "I bet I know something my little woman don't know." "What is it?" the fat lady asts him. "You don't know what a cruel, weak stomach your hubby has got," Watty says, awful coaxing like, "or you wouldn't bear down quite so hard onto it please, Dolly!"
"You are insolent, sir. Your insolence increases. It grows unendurable." Mr. Fletcher addressed the snail. "He asts a question. I beg not to answer it. He insists. I tell him. I'm insolent." He sighed; the tyranny of the world pressed heavily upon this man. Mr. Marrapit advertised annoyance by clicks of his tongue: "You are insolent when you swear in my presence.
Lookye here, messmet, if you don't lie quiet I'll make Master Aleck come and sit on yer too." "But I'm afraid, Tom." "So'm I, my lad. Pretty sort o' onreasonable beggar. Asts us to save him from the King's men, and when we've got him off, kicking up such a fillaloo as this to show 'em where we are. I arn't got patience with him, that I arn't."
"Well, it might be I was settin' outside the French outfit, talkin' it over," he went on tranquilly, little suspecting with what meaning his story was charged for the two strangers; "when along comes a feller and asts for me. Say, he was a sight!
Finally Doctor Kirby says he will undertake to show that it will sell me and him will take a trip down into the black country ourselves and show what can be done with it, and take Sam along fur an object lesson. Well, they was a lot of rag-chewing. Doctor Jackson don't warm up none, and he asts a million questions.
Ef any of 'em asts the news, thes say they's a leak in Sugar Creek. Well, well, well!" he exclaimed, after a little pause; "hit's thes like I tell you. Wimmin folks is mighty kuse." When Woodward bade Puss good-bye, she looked at him sympathetically and said "Sometime when youer passin' by, I'd be mighty thankful ef you 'ud fetch me some maccaboy snuff."
Lifting one of them boxes down from the wagon I got such a shock I like to of dropped her. Fur she was marked so many dozen, glass, handle with care, and she was addressed to Dr. Hartley L. Kirby, Atlanta, Ga. I managed to get that box onto the platform without busting her, and then I sets down on top of her awful weak. "What's the matter?" asts the feller I was with. "Nothing," says I.
"You ain't wuth nothing but to eat vittles and wear out clothes." "Well," I says, "I figger I earn my vittles and a good 'eal more. And as fur as clothes goes, I never had none but what Elmira made out'n yourn." "Who brung you up?" asts Hank. "You done it," says I, "and by your own say-so you done a dern poor job at it."
A couple of hours later Looey comes into camp and says he is going to quit. The doctor asts him if he has inherited money. "No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into business." Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day before and run acrost an old aunt of his'n he had forgot all about.
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