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Updated: June 20, 2025
'I feel, as a private citizen, that so long, he says, 'as the br-right star iv liberty shines resplindent over our common counthries, with th' example iv Washin'ton in ye'er eyes, an' th' iliction comin' on, that ye must go forward an' conker or die, he says. 'An', he says, 'Willum McKinley is not th' man to put annything in ye'er way, he says.
He niver felt so well in his life. 'All right, I'll be over as soon as I can hitch up th' horse. Take him away fr'm th' supper table at wanst, give him a pipeful iv tobacco an' walk him three times around th' block. "But whin a man's sick, he's sick an' nawthin' will cure him or annything will. In th' old days befure ye an' I were born, th' doctor was th' barber too.
"And was it bad luck you had, sor?" "A temporary case of it, I'm afraid." "Well," said the Irishman, looking up at his employer with the most profound encouragement in his wink, "if it's anny help to you, sor, I'll say that I've niver found bad luck to be annything but timporary. And, believe ME, I've had plinty of it. Mary was dom near three years makin' up her mind to say yis to me."
"An' he's been that proud iv th' victhry that he's been a reg'lar customer f'r a week." "Annything new?" said Mr. Hennessy, who had been waiting patiently for Mr. Dooley to put down his newspaper. "I've been r-readin' th' tistimony iv th' Lootgert case," said Mr. Dooley. "What d'ye think iv it?" "I think so," said Mr. Dooley. "Think what?" "How do I know?" said Mr. Dooley.
Wan long, wan short. There ar-re hours in th' avenin' that pass between two ticks iv th' clock; there ar-re hours in th' arly mornin' whin a man can't sleep that Methusalah's age cud stretch in. Clocks ar-re habichool liars, an' so ar-re scales. As soon as annything gets good enough to weigh ye can't weigh it. Scales ar-re f'r th' other fellow.
Jim told me the other day; he wouldn't mind my tellin' you, but he says he don't want anny wan of the fam'ly to get wind of it." "What is it?" Aileen looked up half fearfully. "Gracious, you look as if you'd seen a ghost! 'T isn't annything so rale dreadful, but it gives you a kind of onaisy feelin' round your heart." "What is it? Tell me quick."
McGinnis " began the boy when the lumberman interrupted him. "'Tis very sorry ye'll be if ye call me out of me right name. Sure I said McGinnis, jest plain McGinnis, not Misther McGinnis. Ye can call me 'Judge, or 'Doctor, or 'Colonel, or annything else, but I won't be called Misther by annyone."
'But 'tis too late to do annything with me. An' I don't care. It may hurt me in th' eyes iv me fellow counthrymen, but look at th' fun I get out iv it. I wudden't thrade th' injanyous wicked people an' th' saints that I see f'r all th' poor, dull, half-an'-half crathers that ye find in th' wurruld, says he. "An' there ye ar-re.
"Whoy, we'll take it kindly of ye if you'll just be so obligin' as to shtep aboard the barque, and say what we want ye to say," answered the fellow. "But, mind," he added warningly, "don't ye attimpt to say annything else, or by the Piper it'll be the worse for ye and for the young woman down below.
The divil a boat will I let ye have; if ye want a boat, go ashore and build one for yoursilf. And go to the divil and get your awning, and your canvas, and your lashings, and your cook, too, begorra! for sorra a one of anny of thim will ye get from me! I was a fool to promise ye annything, but I wanted your help, and I thought Oi'd get it by humourin' ye.
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