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Updated: May 11, 2025
Boys is wery obstinit, and wery lazy, Gen'l'men, and there's nothink like a good hot blaze to make 'em come down vith a run. It's humane too, gen'l'men, acause, even if they've stuck in the chimbley, roasting their feet makes 'em struggle to hextricate theirselves.
"Acause he have, honey! which I would a-told you all about it ef you hadn't a-kept on, and kept on, and kept on interrupting of me!" "Nora," said Hannah, speaking for the first time in many minutes, and looking very grave, "she has something to tell, and we had better let her tell it." "Very well, then! I'm agreed! Go on, Mrs. Jones!" "Hem-m-m!" began Mrs. Jones, loudly clearing her throat.
Nobody as sees me in that 'ere 'aunt of luxury, 'ill take me for a millionaire vith a skid in his mouth. Vy do they say a aunt of luxury? I s'pose acause she's wife to my uncle. Exit. Slow music. The night passes. A policeman crosses twice. THOMAS crosses between. Dawn. Re-enter BILL. Bill.
Acause they're never 'ungry. Jack. How do you know they ain't? Bill. You never sees 'em loafin' about nowheres. Jim. Is Mattie your sister, Bill? Bill. No, Jim; I ain't good 'nough to have a sister like she. Jack. Your sweetheart, Bill? Ha! ha! ha! Bill. Dry up, Jack. Jim. Tell me about her, Bill. I didn't jaw you. Bill. She lives in our court, Jim. Makes shirts and things. Jack. Oh! ho!
I served Farmer seven year, off and on, and arter harvest he tells me he's no more work for me, nor my boy nether, acause he's getting too big for him, so he gets a little 'un instead, and we does nothing; and my boy lies about, getting into bad ways, like hundreds more; and then we goes to board, and they bids us go and look for work; and we goes up next part to London.
"That's all smoke, and no blaze; vereas smoke only sinds him to sleep, and that ain't no use in making a boy come down. Boys is wery obstinite and wery lazy, gen'l'men, and there's nothink like a good hot blaze to make 'em come down with a run. It's humane, too, gen'l'men, acause, even if they've stuck in the chimbley, roasting their feet makes 'em struggle to hextricate theirselves."
'Young boys have been smothered in chimneys before now, said another gentleman. 'That's acause they damped the straw afore they lit it in the chimbley to make 'em come down again, said Gamfield; 'that's all smoke, and no blaze; vereas smoke ain't o' no use at all in making a boy come down, for it only sinds him to sleep, and that's wot he likes.
A tall, sharp-nosed young man bawled in my ear, "I say, young 'un, do you know why we're nearer heaven here than our neighbours?" "Why?" I asked. "Acause we're the top of the house in the first place, and next place yer'll die here six months sooner nor if yer worked in the room below. Concentrated essence of man's flesh is this here as you're a-breathing.
Cellar workroom we calls Rheumatic Ward, acause of the damp. Ground floor's Fever Ward your nose'd tell yer why if you opened the back windy. First floor's Ashmy Ward don't you hear 'um now through the cracks in the boards, apuffing away like a nest of young locomotives? And this here most august and uppercrust cock-loft is the Consumptive Hospital.
"Don't you think we ought to go a little slow about landing?" remarked Amiel, who evidently had certain fears of his own, which same caused his soft oily voice to quiver painfully. "Aw! what's the matter with you?" grated Ted, savagely. "Just acause them fellers go to talkin' 'bout ghosts and all that stuff, you're afraid, that's what!
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