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Updated: August 16, 2024
Peter smiled a little at the thought of making a steady living out of the Blacketts, Dooleys or Milligans. "It's all a matter of friends." Peter had a different theory, but he did not say so. Just at that point they were joined by Laurence Ogden, who was duly introduced, and in a moment the conversation at their end of the table became general. Peter listened, enjoying his Havana.
But then neither he nor the neighbours knew how often he took and gave Bessie Kilfoyle's advice. These two were present by express invitation, but another pair of guests, the Dooleys, would never have been asked for the sake of their opinion, which they were indeed encouraged to keep to themselves, and appeared at this domestic crisis merely by virtue of family ties.
'Tis in th' fam'ly to make their names. There niver was anny fam'ly in th' ol' counthry that turned out more priests than th' Dooleys. By gar, I believe we hol' th' champeenship iv th' wurruld. At M'nooth th' profissor that called th' roll got so fr'm namin' th' Dooley la-ads that he came near bein' tur-rned down on th' cha-arge that he was whistlin' at vespers.
Ye say, 'I'll go over to see Dooley, sometimes, but more often ye say, 'I'll go over to Dooley's. I'm a house to ye, wan iv a thousand that look like a row iv model wurrukin'men's cottages. I'm a post to hitch ye'er silences to. I'm always about th' same to ye. But to me I'm a millyon Dooleys an' all iv thim sthrangers to ME. I niver know which wan iv thim is comin' in.
"Thin me uncle Mike come in, as rough a man as iver laid hands on a polisman. Felix Dooley was makin' a speech on th' vartues iv th' fam'ly. 'Th' Dooleys, says he, 'can stand before all th' wurruld, an' no man can say ought agin ayether their honor or their integrity, says he.
'Th' Dooleys, says Felix, 'stood beside Red Hugh O'Neill; an', whin he cut aff his hand, 'He didn't cut it off with anny wan else's saw, says me uncle Mike. 'They'se an old sayin', wint on Felix. 'An' ol' saw, says me uncle Mike. 'But 'twas new whin ye stole it. "'Now look here, says Aloysius, 'this thing has gone far enough.
"'There, says I, p'inting with the whip, 'is Dooley's Pillar, so called because a man by the name of Dooley, helped only by his widow, stood off eight ravagin', tearin' savages there for three weeks. "'Good-ness gra-cious! says Percival. 'And did they escape? "'The Injuns? Oh, yes; they got away. "'No, I mean the Dooleys.
"'Yes. "'Well, that goes completely around, and it ain't climbable, so the Injuns had to stay down. "'I see, says he; and we rode three mile before he said: 'But how did the Dooleys get there? "'They was ketched by a tornado in Sore-toe Canon, over yonder, says I, 'and blowed right to the top the Injuns chasin' 'em horseback and shootin' at 'em on the wing.
"Well, he sint out letthers to all th' Roscommon Dooleys; an' on a Saturdah night we come together in a rinted hall an' held th' reunion. 'Twas great sport f'r a while.
"Thim's no rel-ations to me," Mr. Dooley answered. "Thim's farmer Dooleys. No wan iv our fam'ly iver lived in th' counthry. We live in th' city, where they burn gas an' have a polis foorce to get on to. We're no farmers, divvle th' bit. We belong to th' industhreel classes.
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