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I've been lying under that dead baste till I don't seem to have any legs at all, at all. Ye must lift me on." "Officer and a gentleman!" said the Sergeant scornfully. "I never heard an Irish gentleman with a brogue like that. I believe you're one of the rowdy sort that call themselves patriots." "Sure, and I am," cried our prisoner. "But here, I don't want any wurruds with the like o' ye.
Ye catch th' wurruds, 'Grape Pie, 'Canned Salmon, 'Cast-iron digestion. Still he doesn't come up. He tells a few stories to th' childher. He weighs th' youngest in his hands an' says: 'That's a fine boy ye have, Mrs. Hinnissy. I make no doubt he'll grow up to be a polisman. He examines th' phottygraft album an' asks if that isn't so-an'-so.
A Higher Power even than Mack, much as I rayspict him, is in this here job. We cannot pause, we cannot hesitate, we cannot delay, we cannot even stop! We must, in other wurruds, go on with a holy purpose in our hearts, th' flag over our heads an' th' inspired wurruds iv A. Jeremiah Beveridge in our ears, he says. An' he set down." "Well, sir,'twas a gr-reat speech. 'Twas a speech ye cud waltz to.
'I will now lave a subject that must be disagreeable to manny iv ye an' speak a few wurruds fr'm th' fathers iv th' party, iv whom there ar-re manny, he says, 'though no shame to th' party, f'r all iv that, he says.
They stayed up late dhrinkin' an' carousin' an' dancin' jigs till wurruds come up between th' Kerry Mickrobes an' thim fr'm Wexford; an' th' whole party wint over to me left lung, where they cud get th' air, an' had it out.
Nawthin' cud be thruer thin that onliss it is th' ipygram iv Andhrew Jackson, th' sage iv Syr-acuse, that "a bur-rd in th' hand is worth two in th' bush." What gran' wurruds thim ar-re, an' how they must torture th' prisint leaders iv th' raypublican party.
'I always was, he says, 'too retirin' f'r me own good, he says. 'Spin out th' r-rest, he says, 'to make about six thousan' wurruds, he says, 'but be sure don't write annything too hot about th' Boer war or th' Ph'lippeens or Chiny, or th' tariff, or th' goold question, or our relations with England, or th' civil sarvice, he says.
"'Tis unsafe f'r anny man alive to receive th' kind wurruds that ought to be said on'y iv th' dead. As long as George was a lithograph iv himsilf in a saloon window he was all r-right. Whin people saw he cud set in a city hall hack without flowers growin' in it an' they cud look at him without smoked glasses they begin to weaken in their devotion.
Thin he chats f'r two hundherd years with th' polisman on th' beat. He tells him a good story an' they laugh harshly. "Whin th' polisman goes his way th' Dock meets th' good woman at th' dure an' they exchange a few wurruds about th' weather, th' bad condition iv th' sthreets, th' health iv Mary Ann since she had th' croup an' ye'ersilf.
"'Did ye see th' pris'ner afther his arrest? 'I did. 'Where? 'In th' pa-apers. 'What was he doin'? 'His back was tur-rned. 'What did that indicate to ye? 'That he had been sufferin' fr'm a variety iv tomaine excelsis 'Greek wurruds, says th' coort. 'Latin an' Greek, says th' expert. 'Pro-ceed, says th' coort.
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