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Updated: May 31, 2025
'Tis as preecaryous as a steeple jack's, an' no more permanent thin a Rosenfelt holdover undher Taft. If a king goes out an' looks haughty some wan iv his subjicks fires a gas pipe bomb at him, an' if he thries to be janial he's li'ble to be slapped on th' back in th' paddock an' called 'Joe. "Look at me frind, Abdul Hamid.
Wan day had I been in London, sor wan day only, an' a low scutt thried to poison me dhrink; next day some udther thief av sin shoved me off av a railway platform undher a train, malicious and purposeful; glory be, he didn't kill me! but the very docther that felt me bones thried to pick me pockut, I du b'lieve.
He'd kept undher cover f'r months, livin' in freight cars an' hidin' undher viadocks with th' pistol in his hand. Wan night he come out, an' broke into Schwartzmeister's place. He sneaked through th' alley with th' German man's damper in his arms, an' Clancy leaped on him fr'm th' fence.
No north east a point east, he says. 'Th' inimies iv our counthry has been cr-rushed, he says, 'or is stuck down in Floridy with his rig'mint talkin', he says, 'his hellish docthrines to th' allygatars, he says. 'Th' nation is wanst more at peace undher th' gran' goold standard, he says. 'We ar-re bound, he says, 'to to re-elize our destiny, whativer it may be, he says.
Go inside, an' dhrink tay out av chiny in the drrrrawin'-room, an' thin we'll dhrink like Christians undher the tree here. Scutt, ye naygur-folk! There's a Sahib come to call on me, an' that's more than he'll iver do for you onless you run! Get out, an' go on pilin' up the earth, quick, till sundown.
"Tom thrimbled at the wicked look she gave. "'Remember! says she, over the hedge, with a bitter caterwaul. "'Never fear, says Tom. Well, sure enough, the next mornin' there was the cat at cock-crow, licking herself as nate as a new pin, to go into the town, and out came Tom with a bag undher his arm, and the cat afther him.
Whisht, then, poor things och sure I'll do my best I'll struggle for you as well as I can you have none but me to do it it's not the black wather I'd give my darlin' child if I had betther; but gruel is what I can't get, for the sorra one grain of mail is undher the roof wid me; but I'll warm the cowld potato for my pet, and you can play wid it till you fall asleep, accushla.
Never mind about the bally head-work, but next time you're out troop-leading try to steer a course somewhat approaching the straight. You had the line opening and shutting like a concertina this morning. An iron-grey. Begob, and that's the holy truth! I thought my ribs was goin' ivery minnut, an' me man was cursin' undher his breath the way you'd hear him a mile away.
The Prophet deliberately opened the door, and catching her by the shoulder, held her prisoner, as it were, until she should make her words good. The roof was but low, and she knew the spot too well to make any mistake about it. "Here," said she, "is the cross I scraped on the stone undher the place." She put up her hand as she spoke, and searched the spot but in vain.
How an'-iver, he took it on him to go up to Munster, sir, undher hopes of risin' us undher the hopes, poor child an' God knows, sir, if oh, Jemmy avourneen ma-chree! doubt I doubt you sunk undher what proved too many for you!
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