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Updated: June 25, 2025


The Alphabet Match was, to tell the truth, not nearly as interesting an affair as it promised to be, for from the very first the N's to Z's had the best of it. Stephen, who with a company of fellow-Tadpoles and Guinea-pigs was perched on the palings, looking on, felt his heart sink within him as first one and then another of his brother's side lost their wickets without runs.

But no bride ever contemplated her "going away" gown with more satisfaction. I pictured myself in it before I even purchased it attending Sister Z's tea party, looking like other women! I do not recommend this as high ambition, but those preachers' wives in the remote places who have worn drab and sorrowfully cut clothes for years will know how I felt.

Peter used the carelessly good-and-easy English one inherits in the South, but he couldn't understand the written rules of grammar to save his life; he was totally indifferent as to which states bounded and bordered which; and he had been known to spell "physician" with an f and two z's. But it was when confronted by a sum that Peter stood revealed in his true colors of a dunce!

"Oh, Cub," laughed Hal; "algebra is all x's and y's and z's over z's and y's and x's," "I admit I'm a chump," Cub grinned with a shrug of self-commiseration; "but say, let's draw those geometrical lines on our chart and see if we get the same result those radio compass fellows got." Cub produced the chart and a hand-book diagram of a mariner's compass about three inches in diameter.

Forty thousand words and that is the number we have piled up in this story is a large number of words to string together without a heroine. That is almost as bad as the dictionary, in which He and She are always hundreds of pages apart and never meet, not even in the "Z's" at the end, which is why the dictionary is so unpopular, perhaps.

"I would suggest that you go to Doctor Z, at such-and-such an address. You are exactly in Z's line. I'll let him know that you are coming and when, and I'll send him down my diagnosis." So that same afternoon, the appointment having been made by telephone, I went, full of quavery emotions, to Doctor Z's place.

"I can add with the use of my fingers and subtract and divide and multiply at least I know the tables up through the twelves. Of what use will a's and b's and x's, y's and z's ever be to me?" "Constance, you know that's nonsense," Bobby told her.

"And the captain says we must be sure and get around there early in the morning, for we are to get our breakfast over there." The home of Farmer Z was some distance from that of John's employer; but the prancing horses on which the men were to ride were soon carrying them across the prairie, and it was not long until they were in sight of Farmer Z's modest farmhouse.

For two days Mr Rip and myself were not upon speaking terms. On the third day, a Master Barnard brings me up a slate-full of plusses, minusses, x, y, z's, and other letters of the alphabet, in a most amiable algebraical confusion. "Take it to Mr Riprapton," said I. The lad took it, and the mathematical master looked over it with a perplexed gravity, truly edifying.

The Z's won in the end by two wickets, after a closer match than it had promised to be at first, and Stephen was comforted for the reverse by feeling sure that his brother at any rate had played his best, and would certainly get his place in the School Eleven.

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