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Updated: May 9, 2025
An' thin Garnett, who didn't know av his skipper's diviltry, sware vengeance on th' husband who deserted her, fer she ware gentil and kind wid th' men forrads." Here Chips paused and gave me a sidelong look as he refilled his pipe. Then he lit it and smiled hopefully. "They ware a quare pair, them mates, Garnett an' O'Toole," he said. "What one wasn't th' other was, and wice wersa.
"Now, mother," continued the Captain, "what troubles me is this, that instead o' findin' Miss Emma rich, and Mr Lawrence poor, or wice wersa, or findin' 'em both rich, I finds 'em both poor. That's where my difficulty lies." Mrs Roby offered a prompt solution of this difficulty by suggesting that William should divide the money between them.
"Guv'ner," says Phil with exceeding gravity, "he's a leech in his dispositions, he's a screw and a wice in his actions, a snake in his twistings, and a lobster in his claws." Having thus expressively uttered his sentiments, Mr.
'I'm afeerd we've come in rayther arter the time, mum, but the young colt being full o' wice, has been' a boltin' and shyin' and gettin' his leg over the traces to sich a extent that if he an't wery soon broke in, he'll wex me into a broken heart, and then he'll never be brought out no more except to learn his letters from the writin' on his grandfather's tombstone.
'No, replied the Dodger, 'not here, for this ain't the shop for justice: besides which, my attorney is a-breakfasting this morning with the Wice President of the House of Commons; but I shall have something to say elsewhere, and so will he, and so will a wery numerous and 'spectable circle of acquaintance as'll make them beaks wish they'd never been born, or that they'd got their footmen to hang 'em up to their own hat-pegs, afore they let 'em come out this morning to try it on upon me.
When you have once gone into Society, you mustn't come out of it." "Then if you'll excuse the freedom, Mr. Chops," were my remark, shaking my head grave, "I think it's a pity you ever went in." Mr. Chops shook that deep Ed of his, to a surprisin extent, and slapped it half a dozen times with his hand, and with more Wice than I thought were in him.
Buckram, 'and I guess if he had sich a consternation of talent as you on his back, he'd wery soon be as quiet as a lamb not that he's wicious far from it, only play full of play, I may say, though to be sure, if a man gets spilt it don't argufy much whether it's done from play or from wice.
'And the sweet old creetur, sir, said the elder Mr. Weller to me in the afternoon, 'has bolted. Him as had no wice, and was so free from temper that a infant might ha' drove him, has been took at last with that 'ere unawoidable fit o' staggers as we all must come to, and gone off his feed for ever!
"Berry well, Massa Geral," and the old man spoke piquedly, although partly re-assured by the assurance that it was no ghost. "If e no take e poor nigger wice e do as e like; but I no top in e canoe while e go and have him troat cut, or carry off by a debbil I dam if e go I go too."
"Suppose I told you that men brought up inside of boilers, hammering on the inside against twenty hammering like Wulcans on the outside, get their ears so dumfounded that they can't tell whether they are saying valves or walves, wice or virtue, suppose I told you that, what would you say, Belle?"
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