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There was one giant a black 'un as left his carawan some year ago and took to carrying coach-bills about London, making himself as cheap as crossing-sweepers. He died. I make no insinuation against anybody in particular, said Mr Vuffin, looking solemnly round, 'but he was ruining the trade; and he died.
'Rather weak upon his legs, returned Mr Vuffin. 'I begin to be afraid he's going at the knees. 'That's a bad look-out, said Short. 'Aye! Bad indeed, replied Mr Vuffin, contemplating the fire with a sigh. 'Once get a giant shaky on his legs, and the public care no more about him than they do for a dead cabbage stalk.
The name of the first of these newcomers was Vuffin; the other, probably as a pleasant satire upon his ugliness, was called Sweet William. To render them as comfortable as he could, the landlord bestirred himself nimbly, and in a very short time both gentlemen were perfectly at their ease. 'How's the Giant? said Short, when they all sat smoking round the fire.
'I don't suppose you would, said Short. And the landlord said so too. 'This shows, you see, said Mr Vuffin, waving his pipe with an argumentative air, 'this shows the policy of keeping the used-up giants still in the carawans, where they get food and lodging for nothing, all their lives, and in general very glad they are to stop there.
I know that's a fact, for Maunders told it me himself. 'What about the dwarfs when they get old? inquired the landlord. 'The older a dwarf is, the better worth he is, returned Mr Vuffin; 'a grey-headed dwarf, well wrinkled, is beyond all suspicion.
'Once make a giant common and giants will never draw again. Look at wooden legs. If there was only one man with a wooden leg what a property he'd be! 'So he would! observed the landlord and Short both together. 'That's very true. 'Instead of which, pursued Mr Vuffin, 'if you was to advertise Shakspeare played entirely by wooden legs, it's my belief you wouldn't draw a sixpence.
The landlord drew his breath hard, and looked at the owner of the dogs, who nodded and said gruffly that he remembered. 'I know you do, Jerry, said Mr Vuffin with profound meaning. 'I know you remember it, Jerry, and the universal opinion was, that it served him right.
'What becomes of old giants? said Short, turning to him again after a little reflection. 'They're usually kept in carawans to wait upon the dwarfs, said Mr Vuffin. 'The maintaining of 'em must come expensive, when they can't be shown, eh? remarked Short, eyeing him doubtfully. 'It's better that, than letting 'em go upon the parish or about the streets, said Mr Vuffin.
While Mr Vuffin and his two friends smoked their pipes and beguiled the time with such conversation as this, the silent gentleman sat in a warm corner, swallowing, or seeming to swallow, sixpennyworth of halfpence for practice, balancing a feather upon his nose, and rehearsing other feats of dexterity of that kind, without paying any regard whatever to the company, who in their turn left him utterly unnoticed.
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