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Updated: May 8, 2025
But now, when she attempted to compare the two men, such a strange, yearning tenderness pleaded for St. Elmo, and palliated his grave faults, that the girl's self-accusing severity wrung a groan from the very depths of her soul.
In her self-accusing spirit, she forgot that looks and tones may speak volumes in the absence of words. "Now, Edna Winters," she told herself, as she stared out on the white hills, "you might as well look things in the face to-night and have it done with. I shall probably spend a great part of my life on this very hill, living on in just the way I did before I knew him. Why not?
True, that when his letter formally bade her farewell, the same self-accusing language was recurred to, the same dark hints and allusions to infamy or guilt; yet never till now had she interpreted them rigidly, and never till now had she dreamed how far their meaning could extend. Still, what crimes could he have committed? The true ones never occurred to Lucy.
The caretaker was trying to console the self-accusing man. "Could I no'? Ye dinna ken me as weel as ye micht." The disgusted landlord tumbled into broad Scotch. "Gie me to do it ance mair, an' I'd chairge Auld Jock wi' thievin' ma siller, wi' a wink o' the ee at the police to mak' them ken I was leein'; an' syne they'd hae hustled 'im aff, willy-nilly, to a snug bed."
Amidst all that Audley said, amidst all that admitted of no excuse, two predominant sentiments stood clear, in unmistakable and touching pathos, remorseful regret for the lost Nora, and self-accusing, earnest, almost feminine tenderness for the friend he had deceived.
A rifle was at this man's shoulder; his cheek was nuzzling its stock, and Calumet saw that the weapon was aimed at his chest. He rapidly noted the positions of the two, estimated the distance, decided that the risk of resistance was too great, and slowly raised his hands above his head. "Surprise party, eh?" he said. "Well," he added in a self-accusing voice, "I reckon I was dreamin' some."
The elect remnant will behold Him come. They will look upon Him whom their fathers pierced. They will fall down in anguish before Him. They will mourn for Him as one mourneth for his only son. They will take up the fifty-third chapter of Isaiah and make it their confession of faith and bitter, self-accusing lamentation. They will say: "We did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
I am afraid his man-imagination had led him to anticipate some complaint against Hector: he certainly was nowise prepared for what the poor self-accusing girl had to say.
She could only look at him with the surprise she felt. His face was in the shadow; but she saw that it was flushed, his eyes excited, and in his voice she heard an undertone that made it sternly self-accusing. "I am not a hypocrite," he went on rapidly, as if driven to speak in spite of himself. "I try to be what I seem, but it is too hard sometimes and I despair.
Before the mute condemnation of that self-accusing thought the bitterness which had been in his mind against her dissipated. Whatever ills she had done to him, he had done greater to her. Whatever ills she had done to humanity were the outcome not of her own nature, but of the circumstances and conditions which had governed her from the moment she was born.
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