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Updated: April 30, 2025
She looked down at her skirt, at her hands; she thought of her hat and her hidden shoes. She thought of Emmy, the bread and butter pudding, of Alf Rylett ... of Pa lying at home in bed, alone in the house. v Keith drew her forward slightly, until she came within the soft radiance of the cabin lights. "I say, it is sporting of you to come!" he said. "Let's have a look at you do!"
"I'm going with her, because she's said she'll go. But it was you that asked her." "Did I? How could I? They weren't mine. You're a man. You brought the tickets. You asked her yourself." Jenny shook her head. "Oh, no, Alf Rylett. You mustn't blame me. Take my advice, my boy. You be very glad Emmy's going. If you mean me, I should have said 'No, because I've got to do this hat.
From that vision back to the cupboard-like house in Kennington Park, and stodgy Alf Rylett, and supper of stew and bread and butter pudding, and Pa, and this little sobbing figure in her arms, was an incongruous flight. It made Jenny's mouth twist in a smile so painful that it was almost a grimace. "Oh lor!" she said again, under her breath, as she had said it earlier. "What a life!" i
She had said to herself: "Why should Jenny go, and not me ... having all this pleasure?" That had been the first stage Jenny worked it all out. First of all, it had been envy of Jenny's going out. Then had come stage number two: "Why should Alf Rylett always take Jenny, and not me?" That had been the first stage of jealousy of Alf.
Jenny, shrewdly thinking as she sat with her father in the kitchen and heard Emmy open the front door, pondered deeply as to her sister's ability to turn to account her own sacrifice. iv Within a moment Alf Rylett appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, Emmy standing behind him until he moved forward, and then closing the door and leaning back against it.
"I wasn't listening," he quavered. "I didn't hear what he said.... Did Emmy go out with him?" "Yes, Pa. To the theatre. Alf brought tickets. Tickets! Tickets for seats.... Oh, dear! Why can't you understand! Didn't have to pay at the door...." Pa suddenly understood. "Oh ah!" he said. "Didn't have to pay...." There was a pause. "That's like Alf Rylett," presently added Pa.
And so she had come to look upon herself as one defrauded by Jenny of pleasure of happiness of love of Alf Rylett. "And she calls it love!" thought Jenny bitterly. "If that's love, I've got no use for it. Love's giving, not getting. I know that much. Love's giving yourself; wanting to give all you've got.
What did that fool Alf Rylett want? He was shouting.... I heard him." "Yes, Pa; but you shouldn't have listened," rebuked Jenny, with a fine colour. Pa shook his shaggy head. He felt cunningly for his empty tankard, hoping that it had been refilled by his benevolent genius. It was not until the full measure of his disappointment had been revealed that he answered her.
Pa looked at him rather vacantly, apparently straining his memory in order to recognise the new-comer. It was plain that as a personal matter he had no immediate use for Alf Rylett; but he presently nodded his head. "Sitting by the fire," he confirmed. "Getting a bit warm. It's cold to-night. Is there any noos, Alf Rylett?"
Alf saw himself recorded as a public benefactor. He perceived the true sublimity of altruism. "Yes," he said, doggedly, recovering himself and becoming a man, becoming Alf Rylett, once again. "That's all bally fine. Sounds well as you put it; but you knew as well as I did that I came to take you. I say nothing against Em. She's a good sort; but " Jenny suddenly kindled.
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