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"By the books that I burned, that is a strange command!" cried the Wizard. "Of what materials is this wonderful wall to be built?" "Of their sacrifices, their renouncements, their good deeds," replied Wisdom. "But they will call me mad," cried the Wizard. Wisdom smiled. "Did you expect to be really wise, and yet thought sane?" she made answer.
Every time we sin against self-respect at the bidding of the ruling passion, we rivet its hold upon us; the more that passion requires of us, the stronger it grows, every sacrifice increasing, as it were, the value of a satisfaction for which so much has been given up, till the negative sum-total of renouncements looms very large in a man's imagination.
She might not have gone away to Pavlofsk yet. Yes, all this must be put straight and above-board, there must be no more passionate renouncements, such as Rogojin's. It must all be clear as day. Cannot Rogojin's soul bear the light? He said he did not love her with sympathy and pity; true, he added that "your pity is greater than my love," but he was not quite fair on himself there. Kin!
I remembered, too, something that Martha had told me, about these same fellows doing "a power o' good," and other hints I had collected vaguely, of renouncements, rules, self-denials, and the like. Thereupon, out of the depths of my morbid soul swam up a new and fascinating idea; and at once the career of arms seemed over-acted and stale, and piracy, as a profession, flat and unprofitable.
Nor would it be fair to allege that the will plays no part in all these renouncements. We have seen that each worker's larva can be transformed into a queen if lodged and fed on the royal plan; and similarly could each royal larva be turned into worker if her food were changed and her cell reduced. These mysterious elections take place every day in the golden shade of the hive.
Curiosity has lost, under this amazing extension, its salutary renouncements perhaps; contemplation has become one with action and satisfaction one with desire speaking always in the spirit of the inordinate lover of an enlightened use of our eyes.
"I observe that the enemies attack those travellers with doubts as to the possibility of ever reaching the mountain's top, and with scores of questions about apparently conflicting passages of Scripture, and contradictory experiences of Christian people; and, alas! with only too frequent success, for the whole plateau seems to be strewn with the records of broken resolutions relating to the renouncements of evil habits, tempting companions, and deluding indulgences.
From the many approaches, letters and meetings, some few relationships resulted, ending as others had ended. Was he not changed, then? Not much no. Only hardened intellectually and emotionally tempered for life and work. There were scenes, too, violent ones, tears, separations, renouncements, cold meetings with little Angela always to one side in Myrtle's care as a stay and consolation.
She would always remember his last lingering hand-clasp, always be thankful for his last few words 'God bless you, dear. But had she cared for him enough in return? had she really tried to understand him? Some vague sense of the pathos of age of its isolation its dumb renouncements gripped her. If he had only lived longer! He would have been so proud of George. She roused herself.
I remembered, too, something that Martha had told me, about these same fellows doing "a power o' good," and other hints I had collected vaguely, of renouncements, rules, self-denials, and the like. Thereupon, out of the depths of my morbid soul swam up a new and fascinating idea; and at once the career of arms seemed over-acted and stale, and piracy, as a profession, flat and unprofitable.
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