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Updated: June 4, 2025
"Rathelin, of a surety it was first of all corrupted to Rattlin by that topmost of all top-sawyers, Joe Brandon it having thus been so established, for many reasons, concealment among the rest, your mother thought it best for you to retain it. Now, Ralph, mark this about eight, or rather seven, months ago, I took a short trip to my native country in Germany. Never was my health more redundant.
Upon my soul, I've a great mind to rouse him, and hit him a slap of the chaps. I hate smooth faces." "Well," said Staines, "you may depend upon it Rattlin is asleep, or he would have wopped you, Pigtop, for your compliments." "He! I should very much like to see it the spooney." "If Mr Rattlin is caulking," said our valet-de-chambre, "there can't be no harm done whatsomever.
The ground will be all right for plowin' to-morrow, and the big boys will have to work until the corn is laid by, but I reckon you'll get a pretty fair turn-out. There's enough money appropriated to have a rattlin' good school, and if you'll stick by me we'll have it." I told him that I would stick by him. "All right," said he, "see that you do. Let me see. This is Friday.
I could have hurled back into the face of the laughing sun, my hate, and called him deceiver and traitor; for had he not, with other causes conspired to smile me, five minutes ago, into a fool's paradise? "Master Rattlin, won't you please to alight?" said one of those under-toned, gerund-singing voices, that my instinct told me to be an usher's.
One of 'em sailed neatly up within ten feet of Auntie's back hair, crashed through the window of the apartment just above her and landed on the floor so impetuous that about a yard of plaster came rattlin' down on Auntie's head. Some fell in her lap and some went down the back of her neck.
He couldn't quite work that out, for this text kep comin' into his sum "No drunkard shall inherit eternal life." And then another text kep a-comin' up "Cursed is he that putteth the cup to his neighbor's lips." No, he didn't feel the triumphant wisdom of the licker traffic. He wouldn't feel like rattlin' the three cents round in his pockets if he had 'em, but he didn't have 'em.
Whin he whishtled they began to rage roun' the room an' carry on tremenjus. But I niver want to hear men laugh as they did skylarkin' too! 'Twas like mad jackals. "Shtop that blasted noise!" sez O'Hara in the dark, an' pop goes the room-lamp. I cud hear O'Hara runnin' up an' the rattlin' av my rifle in the rack an' the men breathin' heavy as they stud roun' my cot.
And, on the contrary for I like to place heroes side by side how decorously and ingeniously might I not have written, "Ralph Rattlin blackened Master Simpkin's left eye Ralph Rattlin led on the attack upon Farmer Russel's orchard, and Ralph Rattlin fought three rounds, with no considerable disadvantage, with the long-legged pieman." Alas!
With these words, I produced the following letter, which Jack Rattlin brought to me the very day after Thompson disappeared; and told me it was committed to his care by the deceased, who made him promise not to deliver it sooner. The clerk, taking it out of my hand, read aloud the contents, which were these;
"Yes, sir," my hat reverently touched, not liking the looks of my interrogator. "And you did not even condescend to return the compliments I sent you, with my misplaced invitation to dinner." "Don't recollect, sir." "Mr Rattlin, in consideration of your ignorance, I can forgive a personal affront damme but, by the living God, I cannot overlook disrespect to the service.
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