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Updated: June 1, 2025
Catchin' fish for a business I can understand: you got to do that for money, which is the first thing in life; an' when you're married, the woman sees that you don't shirk it. But you make me laugh, puttin' on airs an' pretendin' to do it for spoort "Wimmen ha'n't got no sense o' spoort," says you, all solemn as owls. Soon as a boy turns fourteen he takes up the trick.
But Philander scorfed at him and reminded him that such hullsale doin's would put an end to the world's bein' populated at all. But Phileman said in a hicuppin', maudlin way that "the world had better stop, if there had got to be such doin's, wimmen risin' up on every side, and pretendin' to be equal with men."
Marietta began to sob. "Ye-es, yes," she faltered. "He he said he " "I thought so. And you pretended 'twas my my Julia, my wife.... Oh, my God! And you've been pretendin' all the time. 'Twas all cheatin' and lies, wasn't it? She she never come to you. She never told you nothin'. Ain't it so?" Poor, publicity-loving, sensation-loving Marietta's nerve was completely gone. She sobbed wildly.
Old Hickory ain't the one to put up with any pussy-footin'. Nor Auntie, either. When they ain't satisfied with things they have a habit of lettin' folks know just how they feel. Hence this area of low pressure that seems to center around the Agnes. Old Hickory is off in one end of the boat, puffin' at his cigar savage; Auntie's at the other, glarin' into a book she's pretendin' to read; Mrs.
Moderating his harsh tones until they were almost as pleasant as the threatenings of an ill-natured bull-dog, and addressing his auditor, he growled out the following specimen of delectable English: “There is lots of folks goin’ round town pretendin’ to do clairvoyance, and to cure sick folks, and to tell fortunes, and business, and journeys, and stole property; but we ain’t none of them people.
Then, with an effort at understanding, she spoke again. "I shouldn't think that would be very much fun," she said, candidly. "Just pretendin' there's a little girl when there ain't! I should think it would be lots nicer " She hesitated, a sense of delicacy restraining her from making the point she so obviously had in mind.
"There was an owl up in one of our elm-trees one night," began Mrs. Starling. "Du tell! so nigh's that!" said Mrs. Barry from her corner. " And I took up Josiah's gun and meant to shoot him; but I didn't." "He was awful tiresome there!" exclaimed Mrs. Boddington. "What's the use of pretendin' he warn't? Nobody couldn't mind what his sermons was about; I don't believe as he knew himself.
"I'm going to get out o' this town as soon as I can sell. I won't live in it a minute longer than I have to. It used to have men into it; now they're only hobos. It's neither the old time nor the new; it's just a betwixt and between, with a lot o' young cubs like Joe Gregg pretendin' to be tough.
Then we figured, seein' as how we'd got in bad so far, we might as well try a bluff. We tied yore uncle to the chair, intendin' for to make him sign a check before we turned him loose. Right at that time the telephone rang." "Did you answer the call?" "Yes, sir. It kept ringing. Finally the wife said to answer it, pretendin' I was Cunningham. We was kinda scared some one might butt in on us.
I'd like to see any o' youse pretendin' you was dead while a big bear was poundin' you that hard that you begin to believe you ain't shammin'. An' when that ugly brute hauls off an' hits me agen, I decides then an' there that there's no occasion to sham it.
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