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Updated: July 2, 2025
"Well, Phaddhy, we were once modest and bashful ourselves, and I'm glad to hear that he's afraid of his clargy; but let him be prepared for me on Thursday, and maybe I'll let him know something he never heard before; I'll open his eyes for him." "Do you hear that, Briney?" said the father, aside to the son, who knelt at his knee; "you must give up yer hurling and idling now, you see.
"Is that Latin or Greek, Briney?" "It's Latin, Phaddhy." "And what's the translation of that?" "It signifies the Fables of AEsiopius." "Bliss my sowl! and Briney, did ye consther that out of yer own head?" "Hogh! that's little of it. If ye war to hear me consther Gallus Gallinaceus, a dunghill cock?" "And, Briney, are ye in Greek at all yet?"
Phaddhy, "and five daughters: indeed, sir, they're as well to be seen as their neighbors, considhering all things. Poor crathurs, they get fair play* now, thank Grod, compared to what they used to get God rest their poor uncle's sowl for that! Only for him, your Reverence, there would be very few inquiring this or any other day about them." * By this is meant good food and clothing.
Now, the reader knows that Phaddhy was a man possessing a considerable portion of dry, sarcastic humor, along with that natural, quickness of penetration and shrewdness for which most of the Irish peasantry are in a very peculiar degree remarkable; add to this that Father Philemy, in consequence of his contemptuous bearing to him before he came in for his brother's property, stood not very high in his estimation.
"M'Laughlin! what are you talking about?" "Why, what is your Reverence talking about?" "The scapular," said the priest. "But I mane the wine and the mutton," says Phaddhy. "And is that the way you treat me, you reprobate you?" replied his Reverence in a passion: "is that the kind of attention you're paying me, and I, advising you, all this time, for the good of your soul?
"Thrue for you, sir," says Phaddhy; "but as to going wanst a month, I'm afeard, your Rev'rence, if it would shorten my timper as it does Katty's, that we'd be bad company for one another; she comes home from confession, newly set, like a razor, every bit as sharp; and I'm sure that I'm within the truth when I say there's no bearing her."
In the course of a short time, Phaddhy dispatched two messengers, one for the wine, and another for the mutton; and, that they might not have cause for any unnecessary delay, he gave them the two reverend gentlemen's horses, ordering them to spare neither whip nor spur until they returned.
"Well, I'll tell you what I'm thinking I'll be apt to do, Phaddhy, when I'm a clargy." "And what is that, Briney?" "Why, I'll but, Phaddhy,don't be talking of this, bekase, if it should come to be known, I might get my brains knocked out by some of the heretics." "Never fear, Briney, there's no danger of that but what is it?"
"Phaddhy, ye thief o' the world," said Jim Dillon, when Father Philemy was gone, there's no comin' up to ye; how could you make sich a fool of his Rev'rence, as to tell im that Katty was dead, and that you had only four childher, an' you has eleven o' them, an' the wife in good health?"
Verbum personaley cohairit cum nomnatibo numbera at persona at numquam sera yeast at bonis moras voia." "Bless my heart! and, Briney, where's that taken from?" "From Syntax, Phaddhy." "And who was Syntax do you know, Briney?" "He was a Roman, Phaddhy, bekase there's a Latin prayer in the beginning of the book." "Ay, was he a priest, I'll warrant him.
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