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Updated: June 24, 2025
"It is a gentleman's hand, you see." "Ladies sometimes write what I may call a masculine hand," observed the captain. "You are quite right, Captain Bowels," said Miss Peppy; "some write all angles and some all rounds. One never knows how one is to expect one's correspondents to write. Not that I have many, but one of them writes square, a most extraordinary hand, and quite illegible.
Miss Peppy could only exclaim, "Ho, yes!" and cover her face with her handkerchief, in which position she remained immovable until the train arrived at Wreckumoft, despite the kindly efforts at consolation made by the navvy, who arranged her shawl and offered her a glass of gin from his own private bottle; and, finally, seeing that all his efforts were fruitless, wound up by patting her on the shoulder, and advising her to cheer up, for "wotever it was that ailed her, there was sure to be better luck next time."
No more tourists, they gloated, to stand with their backs to the Temple of Heaven in Pekin and explain the superior construction of the Masonic Hall at Cedar Rapids; no more visitors to the champagne caves at Rheims to inquire where they could get a shot of real bourbon; no more music lovers at Salzburg or Glyndebourne to regret audibly the lack of a peppy swingtune; no more gourmets in Vienna demanding thick steaks, rare and smothered in onions.
They entered the station, therefore, with some curiosity and much trepidation for it chanced to be an excursion day, and several of the "trades" of Athenbury were besieging the ticket-windows. "It is very good of you to go with me, Kennie," said Miss Peppy, hugging her nephew's arm.
"To what unfortunate piece of good fortune does your brother refer, Miss Stuart?" asked Sir Richard when Miss Peppy had concluded her observations in regard to it. "Is it possible that you have not heard of it?" exclaimed Miss Peppy in surprise. "You'd better tell Sir Richard what piece of news you refer to, my dear," interrupted Mr Stuart, somewhat testily.
He was, for the moment, sharing the high thin air of Babbitt's speculation as though he were Paul Riesling or even Dr. Howard Littlefield. He hinted: "Well, what do you think then, Dad? Wouldn't it be a good idea if I could go off to China or some peppy place, and study engineering or something by mail?" "No, and I'll tell you why, son.
"It's a girl," interrupted Miss Peppy, "not but that it might have been a boy, brother, if it had been born so, but one cannot ignore facts, and to the best of my belief it was a girl last night. To be sure I was very sleepy when I saw it, but it may be a boy this morning for all I know to the contrary. I'm sure the perplexities that do surround us in this world!"
"Ticket to Wreckumoft," she almost screamed into the face of the ticket-clerk. "Which class?" demanded the clerk, with the amiable slowness of a man whose interests are not at stake. "First!" exclaimed Miss Peppy, laying down her purse and telling the calm-spirited clerk to help himself. He did so, returned the purse, and Miss Peppy rushed to the train and leaped into the first open door.
And nothing happened. Nothing! The whole shooting match acted peppy. Beany whispered to me, 'Was it the wrong bottle? And I didn't know what to think. I guess we came close enough to fire, and as soon as the machinery was ready, they swung a torpedo into the chute right behind that dead sailor, pressed the lever, and the dead man and the torpedo went shooting out together.
Many results followed from this change in the old man. One of the first was that Kenneth and Lizzie Gordon were married, Bucephalus was not sold, and Dan Horsey was retained in the service of his young master. Miss Peppy came out very strong on that occasion of Kenneth's marriage. She laughed, and then she wept, and then, by way of variety, she did both at once.
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