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Updated: April 30, 2025
Sampson splashed among the ducks, and one of them hid till dinner, the rest were seated at luncheon, when two patients were announced as waiting Mr. and Mrs. Maxley. Sampson refused to see them, on this ground: "I will not feed and heal." But Mrs. Dodd interceded, and he yielded. "Well, then, show them in here. They are better cracters than pashints."
Ay, ye may lauch, Miss Julee, but wait till ye see them." He was then seized with a fit of candour, and admitted that some, even of his pashints, were colourless; indeed, not to mince the matter, six or seven of that sacred band were nullity in person. "I can compare the beggars to nothing," said he, "but the globules of the Do-Nothings; dee d insipid, and nothing in 'em. But the others make up.
The dox are all fools, but one: and the pashints are lyres, ivery man Jack. N' listen me; y' have got a disease that you can't eradicate; but you may muzzle it for years, and die of something quite different when your time's up." "Like enough, sir. If you please, ma'am, Dr. Stephenson do blame my indigestion for it." "Dr. Stephenson's an ass." "Dear heart, how cantankerous you be. To be sure Dr.
"Why, they are only fish," said he; "I was in hopes they were pashints." He accepted the gudgeons, and inquired how Maxley got poisoned. It came out that Mrs.
Now, angina pictoris or brist-pang is not curable through the lungs, nor the stomick, nor the liver, nor the stays, nor the saucepan, as the bunglintinkerindox of the schools pretind, but only through that mighty mainspring the Brain; and instid of going meandering to the Brain round by the stomick, and so giving the wumman lots o' time to die first, which is the scholastic practice, I wint at the Brain direct, took a puff o' chlorofm put m' arm round her neck, laid her back in a chair she didn't struggle, for, when this disorrder grips ye, ye cant move hand nor foot and had my lady into the land of Nod in half a minute; thin off t' her husband; so here's th' Healer between two stools spare the whipcord, spoil the knacker! it would be a good joke if I was to lose both pashints for want of a little unbeequity, wouldn't it Lash the lazy vagabin!
Then they don't look straight at Nature, but see with their ears, and repeat one another twelve deep. Now, listen me! there are the cracters for an 'ideaed feckshin' in Barkington, and I'd write it, too, only I haven't time." At this, Julia, forgetting her resolution, broke out, "Romantic characters in Barkington? Who? who?" "Who should they be, but my pashints?
She turned on him with a treacherous smile, and said: "Never mind doctors and patients; it is so long since we met; I do hope you will waive ceremony, and dine with me en ami." He accepted with pleasure; but must return to his inn first and get rid of his dirty boots and pashints.
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