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Th' Sicrety iv War seen him comin', an' called, 'Pussy, pussy. Goold Bonds wint through his legs, an' galloped f'r where th' Postmaster-gin'ral was settin' editin' his pa-aper. Th' Postmaster-gin'ral had jus' got as far as 'we opine, whin he see Goold Bonds, an' he bate th' cat to th' windy be a whisker.
'If ye insist, says th' Cap, 'I'll take th' dure, he says, 'but ye don't know th' customs iv civilization, he says; an' th' hired man just grazed him on th' dure sthep. "Well, Willum Waldorf Asthor was that mad, he wint down to his pa-aper office, an' says he, 'I want to put in an item, he says, an' he put it in.
He's prisident iv th' Pome Supply Company, fr-resh pothry delivered ivry day at ye'er dure. Is there an accident in a grain illyvator? Ye pick up ye'er mornin' pa-aper, an' they'se a pome about it be Roodyard Kipling. Do ye hear iv a manhole cover bein' blown up? Roodyard is there with his r-ready pen.
Dooley, "th' finest pothry in th' wurruld is wrote be that frind iv young Hogan's, a man be th' name iv Roodyard Kipling. I see his pomes in th' pa-aper, Hinnissy; an' they're all right. They're all right, thim pomes. They was wan about scraggin' Danny Deever that done me a wurruld iv good. They was a la-ad I wanst knew be th' name iv Deever, an' like as not he was th' same man. He owed me money.
"But it won't be f'r long. Ivry mornin' I pick up me pa-aper with fear an' thremblin'. War with Japan is immynint. 'Tokyo, June five Th' whole nation is wild with excitement over th' misthreatment iv a Jap'nese in Los Angeles, an' unless an apology is forthcomin' it will be difficult f'r th' Governmint to prevint th' navy fr'm shootin' a few things at ye.
It wudden't do anny gr-reat harm if a man cudden't be illicted to office onless he kept his hair combed an' blacked his boots an' shaved his chin wanst a month. Annyhow, as Hogan says, I care not who casts th' votes iv me counthry so long as we can hold th' offices. An' there's on'y wan way to keep the women out iv office, an' that's to give thim a vote." "This here pa-aper says," said Mr.
"Well, like a good game, it come three an' three. Three times had victhry perched upon our banner an' thrice I see it in th' pa-aper had th' flag iv th' mother counthry proclaimed that Englishmen can r-run. It was thryin' on me narves an' I wanted to yell whin th' tie was r-run off but th' man fr'm Matsachoosetts says: 'Contain ye'ersilf, he says.
Panics an' circuses, as Father Kelly says, are f'r th' amusement iv th' poor. An' a time iv this kind is fine f'r ivrybody who hasn't too much. A little while ago ye niver r-read in th' pa-aper annything about th' fellow that had his money in th' bank anny more thin ye'd read about th' spectators at a prize fight.
Just as ye'er wife is thinkin' iv ye bein' wrecked on a desert island or floatin' on a raft an' signallin' with an undershirt she picks up th' pa-aper an' reads: 'Th' life iv th' ship is Malachi Hinnissy, a wealthy bachelor fr'm Pittsburg. His attintions to a widow from Omaha are most marked. They make a handsome couple. "Well, sir, they must 've had th' gloryus time on boord this new boat.
Maybe me frind Willum Taft had it put on th' free list. I see in a pa-aper th' other day that what was needed at th' White house was a little more spunk. But does he have to import it fr'm abroad, I ask ye? Isn't there enough American spunk? "Well, sir, there are a few iv th' things that are on th' free list. But there are others, mind ye.
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