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Updated: June 22, 2025
We had to give up our simple little game iv patience an' cut into th' other deal. An' now, be Hivens, we have no peace iv mind. Wan hand we have wan partner; another hand he's again us. This minyit th' Jap an' me ar-re playin' together an' I'm tellin' him what a fine lead that was; th' next an' he's again me an' askin' me kindly not to look at his hand.
'Whin th' Prisidint, he says, 'called th' nation to ar-rms, he says, 'an' Congress voted fifty million good bucks f'r th' naytional definse, he says, 'Thomas Francis Dorgan, he says, 'in that minyit iv naytional pearl, says he, 'left his good job in the pipe-yard, he says, 'an' wint down to th' raycruitin' office, an' says, "How manny calls f'r volunteers is out?" he says.
He's a minyit-man, a r-ready pote that sleeps like th' dhriver iv thruck 9, with his poetic pants in his boots beside his bed, an' him r-ready to jump out an' slide down th' pole th' minyit th' alarm sounds. "He's not such a pote as Tim Scanlan, that hasn't done annything since th' siege iv Lim'rick; an' that was two hundherd year befure he was bor-rn.
'Mollie 'll bring in th' coal, he says. 'An' as f'r you, Honoria, ye'd best see what there is in th' cupboord an' put it in ye'er dinner-pail, he says. 'I heerd th' first whistle blow a minyit ago, he says; 'an' there's a pile iv slag at th' mills that has to be wheeled off befure th' sup'rintindint comes around, he says.
'Liftinant Cassidy, she says, ''tis sthrange f'r ye that I've knowed so long to make scandal iv me before me neighbors, she says. 'Mrs. Scanlan, says he, 'we want th' boy. I'm sorry, ma'am, but he's mixed up in a bad scrape, an' we must have him, he says. She made a curtsy to thim, an' wint indures. 'Twas less than a minyit before she come out, clingin' to th' la-ad's ar-rm.
'I have cruised, he says, 'f 'r two thousan' miles through th' Ar-rchey Pelago that's a funny name ivry minyit a surprise an' delight to those that see me, he says. 'I see corn growin' on banana threes; I see th' gloryous heights iv Ding Dong that ar-re irradyatin'. civilization like quills upon th' fretful porcypine, he says.
As f'r ye, he says, an' tur-rned like a tiger on th' boy an' sthruck him with his ol' leathery hand. Th' boy stood f'r a minyit, an' thin walked out, me with him. I niver see him since. We left Ahearn standin' there, as we used to say iv th' fox in th' ol' counthry, cornered between th' river an' th' wall." "Ye're lucky to be alone," said Mr. Hennessy as he left. "I think so," said Mr. Dooley.
Just you sit brazenin' there till the patrol comes round this way, and then if I don't give you in charge as sure as the sun's shinin' crooked over our heads. Begone out of that, and take them things out of litterin' about our place." Or she would remark loudly to her companion: "Just stop a minyit, Winnie, till I sling me ould shawl over me head, and run down to the barracks.
"Th' Divoorce Congress, Hinnissy, that I'm tellin' ye about was assembled to make th' divoorce laws iv all th' States th' same. It's a tur-rble scandal as it is now. A man shakes his wife in wan State on'y to be grabbed be her an' led home th' minyit he crosses th' border. There's no safety f'r anny wan.
"An' so he comes up to where Sagasta is kind iv throwin' th' ca-ards idly on th' top iv th' bar'l, an' Sagasta pipes him out iv th' corner iv his eye, an' says to himsilf: 'Oh, I dinnaw, an' thanks hiven f'r th' law that has a sucker bor-rn ivry minyit.
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