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Updated: May 28, 2025
You, madam, who being so daintily feminine, cannot be supposed to revel in the joys of hog-flesh, flesh of ox, sheep, bird or fish, no matter how excellent well cooked; and you, honourable sir, who, being comfortably replete of such, seated before your groaning board at duly frequent and regular intervals, masticate in duty to yourself and digestion, but with none of that fine fervour of enthusiasm which true hunger may bestow I cry ye mercy!
Many of these muscular motions above described, that are most frequently excited by our sensations, are nevertheless occasionally causable by volition; for we can smile or frown spontaneously, can make water before the quantity or acrimony of the urine produces a disagreeable sensation, and can voluntarily masticate a nauseous drug, or swallow a bitter draught, though our sensation would strongly dissuade us.
The dog also feels the same propensity that influences the child, that of taking hard substances into the mouth, and seemingly trying to masticate them. Their pressure on the gums facilitates the passage of the new teeth. A young dog will, therefore, be observed gathering up hard substances, and, if he should chance to die, a not inconsiderable collection of them is sometimes found in the stomach.
If I am questioned concerning my ideas on religion, I reply that I am an agnostic I always like to be a little pedantic with philistines now I shall add that, more than this, I am a dogmatophagist. My first impulse in the presence of a dogma, whether it be political, moral, or religious, is to cast about for the best way to masticate, digest, and dispose of it.
The African feeds upon foliage and the succulent roots of the mimosa and other trees, which it digs up with its powerful tusks; the forests are generally evergreen, and being full of sap, the bark is easier to masticate than the skeleton trees of India during the hottest season.
Many obese dyspeptics when they once commence to masticate carefully and to take liquid moderately while eating lose weight with an astonishing rapidity and become cured of the bloating of the stomach without being finally obliged to have recourse to the rigorous dry diet of Prof. Bouchard.
The hard palate and tongue and strong teeth and jaws of this latter quadruped enable him to break off and masticate tough and thorny branches as large as the finger.
They inclose a piece of the nut in a bit of green leaf, after adding a portion of quicklime, and thus form a quid which they masticate with great earnestness, expectorating the while as a person does who chews tobacco, for which it is an Eastern substitute.
"But tell me what it is that your case contains which I cannot supply!" said Jack. The major took Jack by the arm and led him out of earshot of his officers. "My second set of teeth," he whispered. "I confide the fact to you; I shall never masticate my food without them; I shall die of indigestion." Jack could not help giving way to his inclination to laugh.
Monk quite as hungry as his people, but affecting perfect indifference for the absent mutton, cut a fragment of tobacco, half an inch long, from the carotte of a sergeant who formed part of his suite, and began to masticate the said fragment, assuring his lieutenants that hunger was a chimera, and that, besides, people were never hungry when they had anything to chew.
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