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Updated: May 9, 2025
It is told, that, when a child of three years old, he chanced to tread upon a duckling, the eleventh of a brood, and killed it; upon which, it is said, he dictated to his mother the following epitaph: 'Here lies good master duck, Whom Samuel Johnson trod on; If it had liv'd, it had been GOOD LUCK, For then we'd had an ODD ONE.
But more Pregnant is the Testimony of our Countrey-man Andrew Battel, who being sent Prisoner by the Portugalls to Angola, liv'd there, and in the adjoyning Regions, partly as a Prisoner, partly as a Pilot, and partly as a Souldier, near 18. years, and he mentioning the African Kingdom of Longo, peopl'd with Blacks, has this passage: The Children in this Countrey are Born White, and change their Colour in two dayes to a Perfect Black.
Thus when he spake he began this tale: "While I was yet a servant we liv'd in a narrow lane, now the house of Gavilla: There, as the gods would have it, I fell in love with Tarentius's wife; he kept an eating-house.
But the High Priests and Patriarchs of the Solunarian Church prevented it, and upon pretence of this Passive Obedience Principle, made their Interest and gave their Voices for Crowning, or Entailing the Crown and Government on the Head of one of the most Implacable Enemies both to their Religion and Civil Right that ever the Nation saw; but they liv'd to Repent it too late.
So has it happened to me; I have built a house, where I intended but a lodge; yet with better success than a certain nobleman, who, beginning with a dog kennel, never liv'd to finish the palace he had contriv'd. Here I ought in reason to have stopp'd; but the speeches of Ajax and Ulysses lying next in my way, I could not balk 'em.
It was the Female Sex, and both Heads would speak, laugh and cry; and both Eat and be Hungry together, but there was but one Fundament to disburden Nature; sometimes one would Speak, and the other would keep silence, and sometimes both speak at the same time. It liv'd several Years, but one of them surviving the other, it carried the Dead one so long, that at last it fainted with the Burden.
'And, ah,'forgive a stranger rude, A wretch forlorn, she cry'd; 'Whose feet unhallowed thus intrude Where heaven and you reside. 'But let a maid thy pity share, Whom love has taught to stray; Who seeks for rest, but finds despair Companion of her way. 'My father liv'd beside the Tyne, A wealthy Lord was he; And all his wealth was mark'd as mine, He had but only me.
He liv'd a patriarch in his numerous race, And show'd in charity a Christian's grace: Whate'er a friend or parent feels, he knew; His hand was open, and his heart was true; In what he gain'd and gave, he taught mankind, A grateful always is a generous mind. Here rest his clay! his soul must ever rest; Who bless'd when living, dying must be blest.
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