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Updated: May 15, 2025
Mr. Wontner's father, I understood, kept a butler and two footmen. 'D'you suppose they're shamming, in order to get off? he said at last. Ipps shook his head and noiselessly threw the door open. The boys had finished their dinner and were fast asleep one on a sofa, one in a long chair their faces fallen back to the lines of their childhood.
And so, by way of an eighty-year-old liqueur brandy, to tactics and the great General Clausewitz, unknown to the Average Army Man. Here The Infant, at a whisper from Ipps whose face had darkened like a mulberry while he waited excused himself and went away, but Stalky, Colonel of Territorials, wanted some tips on tactics.
'But, hang it all, they're both asleep! said Infant, scowling at me. 'Ipps let 'em have the '81 port. 'Asleep! said Stalky, rising at once. 'I don't see that makes any difference. As a matter of form, you'd better identify them. I'll show you the way. We followed up the white stone side-staircase that leads to the bachelors' wing. Mr.
"Anyhow, he's as rotten full of fever as the rest of you," said the Infant, at length on the big divan. "And he's bringing a native servant with him. Stalky be an athlete, and tell Ipps to put him in the stable room." "Why? Is he a Yao like the fellow Wade brought here when your housekeeper had fits?" Stalky often visits the Infant, and has seen some odd things. "No.
'Well done! said Stalky at the door. 'So he didn't slay you. Stop laughing. He's talking to The Infant now about depositions. Look here, you're nearest his size. Cut up to your rooms and give Ipps your dinner things and a clean shirt for him. 'But I haven't got another suit, I said. 'You! I'm not thinking of you! We've got to conciliate him.
Er have you such a thing as a rope on the premises, and a sack two sacks and two ropes? I'm afraid I can't resist the temptation. That man understands, doesn't he, that this is a private matter? 'That man, who was me, was off to the basement like one of Infant's own fallow-deer. The stables gave me what I wanted, and coming back with it through a dark passage, I ran squarely into Ipps.
When he took breath I realised how only Satan can rebuke sin. The good don't know enough. 'Now, said Stalky, 'get out! No, not out of the house. Go to your rooms. 'I'll send your dinner, Bobby, said The Infant. 'Ipps! Nothing had ever been known to astonish Ipps, the butler. He entered and withdrew with his charges. After all, he had suffered from Bobby since Bobby's twelfth year.
They had had a wildish night, a hard day, that ended with a telling-off from an artist, and the assurance they had wrecked their prospects for life. What else should youth do, then, but eat, and drink '81 port, and remember their sorrows no more? Mr. Wontner looked at them severely, Ipps within easy reach, his hands quite ready. 'Childish, said Mr. Wontner at last. 'Childish but necessary.
Still Mr. Wontner sat in his chair, and still we waited on him. The Infant's face showed worry and heavy grief; Stalky's, a bright and bird-like interest; mine was hidden behind his shoulders, but on the face of Ipps were written emotions that no butler should cherish towards any guest. Contempt and wrath were the least of them. And Mr. Wontner was looking full at Ipps, as Ipps was looking at him.
'I have a very high opinion of the Territorials myself, said Mr. Wontner above a glass of sherry. Here The Infant suggested changing, and Ipps, before whom no human passion can assert itself, led Mr. Wontner away. 'Why the devil did you tell him I was on the Bench? said Infant wrathfully to me. 'You know I ain't now. Why didn't he stay in his father's office? He's a raging blight!
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